Bigg Boss-8, When Puneet Issar & Praneet Bhatt got drunk!

BIGG BOSS RAAT 11.45 BAJE

BIGG BOSS (VOICE OVER): Bigg Boss ke store room mein---- set nirmaan karne waale karm-chaari, galti se apni Do Old Monk sharaab ki bottles chhod gaye thhe. ----------------------Yahaan ghar ke aangan ke kone mein baithe hain Puneet Issar aur Praneet Bhatt---------------- aur dono hi sharaab ke nashe mein dhutt ho chuke hain ------------aur apne- apne prasiddh kirdaaron ki aatmaayein,-------------in ke andar pravesh kar chuki hain!

PRANEET BHATT (Shakuni): Bhaanje!-------- Paristhitiyaan manushya ko vivash kar deti hain-------- aur ye Hastinapur ka durbhaagya hai---------- ki aaj Hastinapur ka Yuvraj Duryodhan,------ Bigg Boss ke is is chhote se ghar mein---------- apna sthhaan, Vijeta ka samman ---praapt karnee ke liye sangharsh kar raha hai-----

PUNEET  ISSAR (Duryodhan----in his Phata Hua Baans Voice): Main kuchh samjha naheen Mama Shri--------------------------Main ye Bigg Boss Season-8, Lagegi sabki Waat---------------jeet toh jaunga naa Mama Shri? -----------------Ek karod ki Puraskaar raashi----- mujhe hi praapt hogi naa Mama Shri? 

PRANEET BHATT:  Mere bacche---------------Apna pehla, uthha hua kadam Prithvi par rakhne se pehle---------tum peeche waala----doosra kadam kyun uthaa lete ho? -------Aundhe munh------Aundhe munh gir jaoge mere Bacche-------

PUNEET ISSAR (Hoarser now): Paheliyaan naa bujhaayiye Mama Shri---------------Spasht shabdon mein kahiye-----

PRANEET BHATT (Left eye completely shut): Spasht baat ye hai mere bacche, ki agar nirantar Paaglon ki bhaanti daudne se hi Laxmi milti,---------- toh Vishwa ka har Kutta Laxmi-Pati hota----Arab-Pati hota!------------Laxmi ko paane ke liye kewal parishram naheen,---- Buddhi chaahiye, Yukti chaahiye, Yojana chaahiye, mere bacche?

PUNEET ISSAR (Puzzled looks): Buddhi? Yukti??  Yojna??---------- Parantu is baar toh Bigg Boss mein Diandra, Tamanna aur Sonali hain naa Mama Shri?

PRANEET BHATT:  Sandeh hota hai-----------yada-kada sandeh hota hai mujhe-------- ki tum mere Bhaanje ho! -------Koi itna naadaan kaise ho sakta hai mere bacche? --------Bhaagya-------Bhaagya bhi apna kaarya karta hai Putra Duryodhan--------Kya tumne kabhi vichaar diya hai, ki Indraprastha Vishwa-Vidyalaya (Delhi University), ke har sansthaan (College),  mein Alia Bhatt se,----- kam se kam 300 adhik Roopwaan, Tejasvi aur Pratibha-vaan kanyaayein hain? ----------- Kabhi socha hai ki wo kyun naheen badi abhinetriyaan ban jaati?---------- Alia hi kyun? 

PUNEET ISSAR (Drunk voice through his torn diaphragm):  Adbhut! Adbhut Mama Shri! ---------Alia Bhatt jaisa bhaagya praapt karne ke liye, ----------mera taat-parya hai ki Bigg Boss Season 8 jeetne ke liye,--------- mujhe kya karna chaahiye Mama Shri?----------Kya Mahesh Bhatt mujhe apna Putra sveekar kar lenge Mama Shri? 

PRANEET BHATT (Evil smile, Right eye shut this time): Cheer Haran---------------Cheer haran karna chaahiye Mere Bacche! ----------Hastinapur ki Rajya Sabha mein,--------- Paanchaali ke cheerharan ki laalsa vifal ho gayi------------aur tumhein-hamein is sansaar ko chhodna pada--------

------Jab tak manushya ki laalsa, ------uchit-ya anuchit,------ poorna naheen ho jaati,----- wo baar baar bhatakta hai, baar-baar janm leta hai is Mrityu-Lok par-------------Cheer Haran karo mere bacche, ---------Lokpriyta haasil karo, Bigg Boss ke Cameras ka dhyaan, swayam ki ore aakarshit karo-------------- aur Bigg Boss Season 8 ki, Vijay Shri ko praapt karo Mere bacche!

PUNEET ISSAR (Angrily): Hunhhh! ...Hastinapur ki Rajya Sabha mein, Paanchaali ki Saari, 583 Meter ki ho gayi thhi Mama Shri! --------------------Kheenchte-kheenchte, mera  Priy Anuj Dushashan, thhak kar gir pada thha!-------------Kya mere itne ashubh din aa gaye hain ki mujhe Bigg Boss mein in chhoti-chhoti Nikkar waali kanyaon ke peeche daudna padega ab?------Hunhhh------------Asambhav!!!

PRANEET BHATT (All knowing evil smile): Mere bacche-----------Moorkhon ki bhaanti pralaap mat karo?---------------Ye maine kab kaha ki kisi Kanya ka Cheer-haran karo?-----------Manushya ka swabhaav hai trutiyaan (Mistakes) karna,------------------- parantu Trutiyon se manushya seekh leta hai,------- trutiyaan dohraata naheen-------------

PUNEET ISSAR (Confused looks): Arthaat??

PRANEET BHATT: Arthaat ye Mere bacche-----ki Paanchaali ke cheer haran ke prayatna ke kaaran, humein aur tumhein, apne-apne praan tyaagne pade thhe.---------------- Isliye truti se seekho aur kisi kanya ka naheen, Purush ka cheer haran karo!--------------- Is Bheem jaise Arya Babbar ka Cheer-haran karo------Us vichitra tarah se uccharan karne waale Upen Patel ka cheer haran karo------------

PUNEET ISSAR (Excited voice):  Waah Mama Shri---Waah------------Shhh-----------Shhh-------lagta hai koi aa raha hai is taraf---------------------Main daboch leta hoon ise Mama Shri------------------Aap mukhya dwaar pe drishti banaaye rakhiye-------------------------

PRANEET BHATT: Bhaanje---------------------ye toh Sushant Digvikar hai------------------chhod do ise-----------

PUNEET ISSAR (Red eyes, angry as hell):  Chhod doon Mama Shri?-------------- Yahi toh hai jiske kaaran mujhe paraajay ka much dekhna pada thha!-------------------------Ye Manhoos agar Arjun ki dhal naa ban gaya hota, toh Paandavon ki kya majaal thhi ki Pitamah Bheeshm ko giraa dete? Shikhandeee... (Grabs Sushant by his neck and both crash to ground------) 

PRANEET BHATT:  Chhod de Sushant ko-----Chhod de mere bacche!------------Hinsa ka aarop siddh ho gaya, ----toh bina khele hi Bigg Boss ke ghar se nishkaasit ho jaaoge------Jeeti hui baaji haar jaoge Putra Duryodhan--------

SUSHANT DIGVIKAR:  Mmm---------yeaahhh--------------mmm----------------Ohhh----Ouchhh------------------that hurts, that hurts---------leave me----------leave me you beast--------Jaanwar kaheen ke-----!! 

PUNEET ISSAR (Roars in his Phata hua Baans Voice):  Aaj naheen chhodunga tujhe! -----------Tere hi kaaran Kurukhshetra mein paraajay ka mukh dekhna pada thha mujhe Dusht---------------

SUSHANT DIGWIKAR (Tears streaming down his face): Aaa----Aaa-------------Main mar gaya------------------aaa-------------bachao---------------

Aarya Babbar, Upen Patel, Gautam Gulati come running from all directions and somehow help  a bruised and battered Sushant escape from the deadly vice like grip of Puneet Issar, who too collapses because of excessive alcohol effect!

BIGG BOSS:   Bigg Boss ke ghar mein, galti se rakhi hui sharaab ne --------------aaj aisa jalwa dikhaaya, ki kuchh palon ke liye aisa prateet hua---------maano  ek beeta hua Yug hi jaise waapas aa gaya! -------------Aane waale dinon mein kaise aage badhti hai ye Aaj ke yug ki Mahabharat,---------- ye toh philhaal, Bhavishya ke garbh mein hi chhupa hua hai!

JHELTE RAHIYE YE MANHOOS PROGRAMME...BIGG BAAS! 

** Blog Link: 

(Fun topics on Big Boss, Bollywood, Cricket & Politics): 

http://cruisermaniabb6.blogspot.com/

***********************************************************

Undekha Action- Armaan in Lonavala Police Station!

DOPAHAR 12.30 BAJE

BIG BOSS (Voice Over): Haal hi ki paristhitiyon ki wazah se Armaan ko baahar jaana pada hai, aur Bigg Boss ne unhein, confession room ke isi darwaaze se baahar nikaal diya hai!

(The above bit you all saw on TV...Ab Aage Dekhiye...The UN-DEKHA ACTION)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside the Bigg Boss House:

A slightly nervous looking Armaan steps out of the house and is visibly taken aback, when he sees Inspector Waaghmaare waiting besides the Police van.
A smile breaks on Armaan's face and he brisks up his pace towards Van and extends his arm towards the Inspector!

ARMAAN: O-ho!!! Aap Ho Waaghmaare Ji? Kaise ho Sir? Sab theek?

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE: Aye Armaan Kohli. -----Police ke saath shaan-patti karne ka naheen. Kya? ----------Abhi mere ko, tere ko arrest karne ka hai Kaaye ko bole toh, (Puffs up his chest and briefly poses towards glamorous female reporters of CNN-IBN and AAJTAK)---------wo jo Bigg Boss mein Sofiya Hayat-Fayat bolke aurat thhi, ------usne tere oopar charge lagaya hai, Ek-dum SIRIUS CHARGE RE ----------tune Danda-Vinda ghuma ke uske munh ko phhoda, --------gandi-gandi baat karke uski izzat ko chheda -----mentally depress kiya tu usko-----bole toh Maansik atyaachaar!------Maaila trauma ka haalat mein pahuncha daala tu us masoom Aurat ko!

ARMAAN:  Whattt??----- Maine uske munh ko phoda?----Izzat?? Depression?? -----O Waaghmaare! On duty piya hai kya tu?--Haan?--Desi Daaroo piya kya?

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE (Hisses under the breath):  Chaaron taraf dekh, Midiaa ka Kamra-Shamra zamela hai re ghantaal-----shhhhhh!---(Loudly commands-), -----------Chal, Chal chal, baaki baat thhana mein!---- Abhi dikhayega Inispektor Waaghmaare tujhe Kanoon ka Paavar!...---------Hero giri band abhi!---Chal!!

ARMAAN (Curses under his breath): Teri Maa Ki @#$$#&**!----Tu chal beta thaane mein!

(INSIDE LONAVALA POLICE  STATION)



INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE: Havaldar Pandu?

PANDU: Haww Sir?



INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE:  Baahir chhotu ko bol, do chaay dega, malaai maar ke---cutting mein!----- Aur Thaana darwaaza band kar------Tiitiya Maila ye saale Midia waale subah se bhin-bhina rahe hain baahar! --------Saala thhana hai ki Halwai ki dukaan?----Maan Na Maan, Main tera Mehmaan...Jaaila Saala!--------Makkhi hain re saare ---Makkhi saale!------ IndiaTV, AajTak, News24, JanSatta...chhheee!------Band kar darwaaza!

Pandu locks the door and Inspector Waaghmaare lunges at Armaan!

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE:  Kaisa hai Armaan Saab?---Poora ek saal ho gaya mile hue baap!----- Kaisa hai Armaan Bhai?

ARMAAN: Hunhh! Bhai!! Wahaan meri izzat ka falooda kiya uska kya re Waaghmaare?

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE:  Arey Armaan Bhai, ------aap koi bacchha hai kya?---Dikhana padta hai re baba, dikhana padta hai!----Saala bina kuchh liye-diye shaam ka khabar hoga Pulis ko khareeda Armaan ka Wadeel  (father) ne!!!
ARMAAN (Shouts): ---Tyaan-tyun, tyaan tyun naheen karo, mudde ki baat pe aao! -----------Maamla kya hai? ------ Kya boli wo paagal Sofiya? -------------Saala usne mere ko dhakka maara wo naheen dikha tumko?--------- -Usne mere ko gaali diya wo naheen dekha-suna? ----Wo dande waala jhaadoo main le ke aaya thha ki wo le ke aayi thhi?-----Haan? ---------Abhi dhakka-mukki karegi 6 foot 3 inch ke insaan ke saath, -----toh kharonch-varonch lag sakti hai naa?----Kya depression diya re main usko Waaghmaare?

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE:  Tittiyaan-Maila.------Jaa re Depression------- Saala ek TV channel se doosra TV channel fudak rahi hai wo---Bole toh daaroo piyela Battakh ka maafik-----Kaahe ka depression usko???-----Chintaa Nakko-----Tension naheen lene ka Armaan Baba, tension dene ka! Kya?

ARMAAN: Abey TV pe toh meri izzat ka falooda kar diya naa?---- Log kya bolenge?

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE:  Arey koi kuchh naheen bolega.------------Tera Bigg Boss mein bilkul bhi naheen dikhaya tu Thaana mein aayela hai! --------Aayi Shapath!--------Abhi chaay pee, payr-vayr (legs)--seedha kar!----------Aadha ghanta baad, Deshmukh Saab ka Adalat mein jaane ka------Jamanat-fimanat ka kaagaz sab ready hai!---Sooraj naheen doobega aur tu dobara Bigg Boss ka ghar mein hoga!----Waaghmaare ka waada hai ye, Aayi Shapath!

ARMAAN (Smiles for the first time): Really? Bail papers already taiyyar hain? Ye kaise hua?

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE: Kya re Armaan Baba?...Bas kya re Pakiya? ---Ye humaara pahila dealing hai kya?-------3 Saal pahile tu wo Cycle waale ko rocket bana ke oopar udaaya thha-------Mangal Griha mein pahunchaaya thha------Bhool gaya kya?? --------Ek saal pahile wo Lonavala ke punter ki naak phoda thha tu----

ARMAAN: ---Oh right! Haha! Kya raspberry bahi thhi uski naak se! Kya hua baad mein uska?

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE: Paanch din haspataal mein thha, --------baad mein maafinaama likha wo tere naam ka, ----phir jaane diya main usko!

ARMAAN: Haan! Accha kiya! One should not keep these things in heart. -------Forget and forgive -----apna philosophy hai Waaghmaare Saab!

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE:  Sab maaloom hai re baba!---Bahut bada dil hai Armaan Baba ka aur Kohli Saab  (Rajkumar Kohli) ka!------Deshmukh Saab ko Paanch peti diye Papa Ji, Jamanat ke liye!-------Humko bhi Do peti mila Armaan Baba!----Tension nakko lene ka!

ARMAAN:  Waaghmaare, us Sofiya ne Sher ke munh mein haath daala hai!-----Bholenath ki kasam main toh usko Sorry bolne ko taiyyaar thha kasam se-----

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE: Sab maloom hai re Baba!--------Gharwaali meri barobar dekhi re Bigg Boss show! ------Boli wo mere ku, tu Kamiya-Panjabi, Asif-Bangaali, Pratyusha-Baingan, Sangram-Dholki, Andy-Bandar---SABKO SORRY BOLA BABA, SABKO SORRY BOLA!--------Sone ka dil hai re tera, khaalis Sone ka!  

ARMAAN:  Mudde ki baat karo. ---Karna kya hai is Sofiya ka??   



INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE: Tension nakko Armaan Baba, tension nakko!----Santa Cruz Thana mein likhayi thhi report wo.---- Wahaan ka Inispektor Taambe, langoti yaar hai mera---ek number Pakiya!------Aapke Papa Ji mile usko bhi, ------sab maamla settle hai! -------Tum khaali ek chhota sa maafinaama likh dega bas, ------------ye waala case khaariz--------bole toh Deesh-meesh! -------Uske baad taabe mein lenge us Sofiya aurat ko .-------Visa ka date, personal dates, Dollar-veelar, Pound-Shound sab ginti karenge uski-----charas-gaanja mil gaya toh MCOCA mein ghaseetenge usko...  

ARMAAN:  MCOCA?   



INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE: Maharashtra Control of Organised Crime Act, 1999 re Baba!-----Yaad karegi ki India aayi thhi-----Poora tour denge re baba, poora  Gaaidade tour,------------ Lonavala Jail, Arthur Road Jail, Santa Cruz Thana, Vikhroli Thana...tu dekh abhi!

ARMAAN: Thank God, there is Law and Order in this Country!
INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE:  Barobar bola re!---Chal Abhi-----Jamanat ka kaagaz lene ka, uske baad tere ko Bigg Boss ka ghar bhi pahunchaane ka hai re! ----------------------Aur suno Armaan Baba!-----Wu Sofiya Aurat ko bhadkaane waale, wohich dono hain, Kooshaal aur Gauhaar!---Wohich dono bole usko Thana mein Rapat leekhaane ko--------

ARMAAN (Hisses): In dono ko toh main game se hi nikaal doonga! ---Abhi chalo fauran!---Aaj ghar pahunchte hi---agar is Kushal Tandon ko main Smoking room mein naa ghaseetoon----aur Gauhar ko game se out naa karwa doon-------------toh main Kutte ka Baccha!

INSPECTOR WAAGHMAARE & PANDU: Hahahahaha! -------Tittiyaan-Maila----Kya saynse of humor hai re Baba, kya saynse of Humour hai! ---------hahahahaha!!