OK...so I finally watched one full episode of Bigg Boss (September 29th one...not bad I would say! Promising characters)...
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FUNOPSIS OF BIGG BOSS EPISODE (September 29, 2014)
The EDITED OUT-UNSHOWN BITS:
DAY 8.00 (Subah 8 A.M)
Disheveled looking, broken-aero plane inmates, wake up to Jeene Ke Hain Chaar Din!
In earlier seasons, every year, Bigg Boss team used to rope in a solitary Mehak Chahal, Sana Khan or Gauhar Khan to be ready with red lipstick and mascara in place & hog the cam attention at 8 A.M.
This year, in a bold switch, it has hired many glam-dolls-----Diandra, Soni, Karishma, Sukeerti, Natasha -------------All up and ready by 7.15 AM & anxiously waiting to rush in with their 8 A.M. jigs.
But none of these girls can hold a candle to this vigorous hip-matkoo Sushant and no wonder, he is off the blocks first, executing a vulgar dance in his outrageously purple outfit and peculiar kacchha!
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DAY 8.00 (Subah 9.30 A.M)
Bigg Boss-8 contestants get first glimpse of Bigg Boss House and ...
BIGG BOSS (Voice Over):Bigg Boss ke pratidvandhoyon ko aaj Bigg Boss ke ghar ki pehli jhalak dikhaayi gayi hai------ aur in sabke munh pe kuchh is tarah ke haav-bhaav dikhaayi de rahe hain, jaise aksar Bhikariyon ke munh par dikhayi dete hain -------- jab wo kisi Mithayi ki dukaan ke sheeshon ke andar rakhe gulaab jaamun aur rasgullon ko lalchaayi hui aankho se nihaarte hain! -------------------Soni Singh Danny Boyle ki "Slum Dog Millionnaire" ki ada-kaara lag rahi hain aur Gautam-Aarya, kisi Sharnarthi shivir ke majboor, beybas nivaasi!
DAY 8.00 (Subah 11.30 Baje)
Some of the housemates are sitting on the lawns and casually chit-chatting.
UPEN PATEL (In his Shoaib Akhtar+Sangakkara accent): U no, U no, mein tab Skul mein baachha thha, jab wo tichar ne bola, abi toom---abi toom baacha nayin hai-----nayin hai toom baachha----bara ho gaye hain---bara ho gaye hain!!
DIANDRA (Unleashes her Hyena laugh):Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!------------- Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!
Poor Sushant, who is sitting next to them but dreamily staring at muscles of Hulk Hogan like Puneet Issar sitting some distance away, gets really rattled by this shrieking-scary laughter of Diandra and springs up startled and scared!
SUSHANT: Ouchhh! ------Uyi Maa!----You scared the hell out of me! ----------Aisa hansne se pehle worn karna chaahiye naa? -------------Worn karna chaahiye naa chudail ka jaisa hansne se pehle?
DIANDRA: Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!--------------- Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!---------------Ab main hansne se pehle tujhe bolun kya?---Ki----O---- Hello Sushant---Main hansna chaahti hoon? --- Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!-- Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!
SUSHANT (Gets up with a jerk, swats a non-existent fly with his left palm, rolls up his eyes upwards and says): How disgusting!---Hansti raho,------ I am off from here. Jaa rahi-------------Jaa raha hoon main!----Hunhhh (Zig-zags away from there, as he is incapable of walking straight, literally)!
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DAY 8.00 (Dopahar 3.30 Baje)
BIGG BOSS (Voice over): Yahaan Bigg Boss ke diye hue kaarya ke dauraan, Gautam Gulati aur Karishma Tanna ke beech ghamaasaan yudhh ho chukka hai aura dono, Puneet Issar ke aage, apna-apna paksh rakh rahe hain!
KARISHMA (Sobbing): Aap mere papa ke jaise hain, aur is Gulati ne aapki Beti ko gaali di, aur aap chup-chaap sunte rahe? (Sob----sob----sniff-----sob-sob)!
PUNEET ISSAR (Clearly taken aback!): Papa? Kiska papa?-----Kaisa Papa??-----Kaun Papa?? ----Kaun?? Main kya?
KARISHMA (barely audible-hisses under her breath): Aur kaun be takloo? Tu ofcourse....(& then loudly)---Ofcourse aap Puneet Papa---Aap mere Papa jaise hain-------'Is ghar mein aap mere Papa hi hain----------Bwaaa-haaa----Bwaaa-haaa!
PUNEET ISSSAR (Breaks down crying): Booo-hooo-----Booo-hooo------Beti Karishma! Give papa a hug Beta-------Booo-hooo!
Karishma reluctantly hugs Puneet & immediately reminds him the hug offered is to ensure Papa Issar kills Gulati!
PUNEET ISSAR (tears streaming down his face): Gautam----Gautam----you are like my younger brother---booo---hooo----booo-hooo------but ye agar Bigg Boss ka ghar naheen hota----booo---hooo----had it not been Bigg Boss House, ---I swear I would have killed you----booo---hooo! Booo-hooo!
GAUTAM GULATI: Puneet Bhaiyaa -------Maine galti ki----Bwaaa-haaa! Bwaaa-Haaa! (Sob-Sob)----Karishma Behan---maine galti ki-----Bwaaa-haaa! -----(Pauses & asks in a startled voice )----But Puneet Bhaiyya, agar aap kisi aur jagah mujhe jaan se maar dete-----toh phir yahaan kyun naheen? Why can't you kill me here Bhaiyya?
KARISHMA (latches on): Haan Papa! Yaheen pe maaro!----- Maaro is dusht ko! --
----- Isne aapki Beti ko National TV pe gaali di hai...-------------NATIONAL TELEVISION PE PAPA------(hisses under breath inaudibly)----MAAR TAKLOO---MAAR!
PUNEET ISSAR (Sheepishly): Wo Mahabharat se kamaaye paise bahut pehle khatam ho gaye Beti. --------------Home loan ki kishtein chukaani hain-----------Aur tumhari mummy Kaanjivaram saari, Gold Necklace aur Hyundai i20 ki bhi zid kar rahi hai----------------Bigg Boss ka weekly payment, 3.50 laakh har hafte---bahut zaroori hai Papa ke liye Beti----------Booo-Hooo---Booo-hooo!
GAUTAM: Mujhe maaf kar do Behna! -------Bwaaa---haaa! ---Bhaiyaa Maaf kar do! Hooo-Hooo!
In front of hysterically weeping Papa, a visibly unsure Beti hugs totally confused Aatma Bhaiyya and it seems all is well now!
Suddenly Karishma realises she didn't really gain much out of all this.
She realises these foolish Papa-Bhaiyya are just worth nothing in comparison to what she can gain------- if she------------AND----
KARISHMA (breaks free from Gulati Bhaiyya and Hisses like a Chot Khaayi Hui Naagin): ------Naheee-eeen! Agar Papa tumhein jaan se nahin maar sakte,------- toh mujhe tumhara disqualification chaahiye---DISQUALIFICATION----nothing less than that!-------------------------I want his disqualification Bigg Boss!!
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