Thursday, 30 October 2014

Fun Take: Bigg Boss House Mein FARRA!!! :)

FARRA! Single tense & FARREY Plural tense! LOL

 I am sure most students who have had anything to do with North India and education there, know what a Farra is! And North Indians who emigrated to schools of other parts of India and outside, too would have made their other friends familiar with what a FARRA means!

Well simply put, a Farra is a Cheat Sheet!Tongue

Exam time, many higher stage School & College students transform into Rajasthani Miniature art specialists & using thinnest of pen nibs, scribble down on thin strips of papers,  notes  & formulas for reference / copying down during exam!Blushing

Some play extra safe by not using strips of paper but their palms & hands! LOL

Neediest ones, even copy down the entire chapters on paper strips! Depending upon your need & how tough the exam invigilators are, FARREY are concealed in shirt's front pocket, side pockets of trousers / shirts, inside socks & even undergarments! Geek

I swear in my Engineering class one genuinely, eternally needy classmate of mine used to scribble down all 18-20 chapter topics of the semester subject into dozens of FARREY and then jot down their  precise locations in one MASTER FARRA!  Geek

So his Master Farra, say for Thermodynamics exam would read TLP->HE & SL of TD, --------------TRP--> En, Sp H, -----------LSL-  CVF of Cons Laws,---------------- LSR- St. T & St En, LSF--> O&D Cy etc.

(For the completely clueless, it means Trouser Left Pocket-Heat Engines & Second Law of Thermodynamics, --------------------Trouser Right Pocket-->Enthalpy, Specific Heats----------------Left Sock Left-->Control Volume Form of Conservation Laws, ---------- Left Sock Right-->Stagnation Temperatue & Stagnation Enthalpy, ----------Left Sock Front---> Otto & diesel Cycles!------Clap

Similarly other locations could be LSB, RSL, RSR, RSF, RSB, BP etc. Go figure!Day Dreaming
Obviously, a struggle to remember which FARRA contains what information can lead to a complete disaster during those 'crucial 3 hours'!Dead

 Inspite of massive temptations & even genuine needs, I could never muster up the courage to use a FARRA at any level of exam, though on one occasion, I had to suffer the humiliation of getting my answer sheet brutally snatched away at half way mark because of someone else's FARRA.Angry

Ram Lal, my classmate tossed a laser guided FARRA for his beloved Angoori Devi & clumsy catcher that she was, the FARRA, bounced off her palms & landed at my feet! Ermm
Just as I bent down to pick it up & hand it over to Angoori, the zaalim invigilator Shaitaan Singh swooped down on my neck just like an eagle lands on an unsuspecting frog! Evil Smile 
I had too much of a man inside me to land a girl, the pretty Angoori Devi, in any kind of trouble! So my paper got snatched away and after exam, I did thrash Ram Lal for not giving proper catching lessons to Angoori! (All  names changed to protect  their present states of reputation)! Ermm

Oh God! So what do FARRA or FARREY have to do with Bigg Boss-8?
Fair bit actually! Tongue

Currently flavor of the week, the favourite punching bag of Bigg Boss viewers, Ms. Karishma Tanna has come to the Bigg Boss House, armed with her own FARRA!Clap

 She has done an in-depth study of past three seasons, and in her diary, noted down the Champ behavior she is supposed to copy and execute, from Champions of past!Dancing

1.       It is her FARRA note No.1, that made her seize kitchen, like past Champs Ms. Gauhar Khan & Ms. Joohi Mooli Parmar.Clap

Not for nothing is it said that to do NAKAL, one needs AKAL & Ms. Tanna is clearly lacking in that department! Confused

While Gauhar-Juhi were in everyone's good books for being excellent cooks, Tanna babe is killing those who don't eat spicy stuff and annoying those who wish to cook too!Dead

2.       Karishma Tanna's FARRA note 2 said she must cry at every given opportunity! She has made careful notes of how time and again proven champions like Juhi Ji, Gauhar Ji and even Shweta Ji broke down. Tanna feels tears will win her fans and votes galore! Praneet Bhatt says to his mom, "Hi Mummy!", Karishma goes Booo---Hooo!Cry --------------Karishma decides to play the almighty "Women Humiliated on National TV Card", she does "Puneet Papa---Bwaaa-haaa-Bwaa-Haaa!"CryCryClumsy execution of an otherwise excellent strategy one feels!Confused

3.       FARRA Note-3 says romance like Gauhar!Heart----------- Problem Tanna babe is facing is Mount Everest is exactly 8848m higher than sea level! -----------How does she settle for  a Tingu in house?Shocked------------Only people who match her Himalyan heights are Papa Puneet Issar and unkempt Aarya Babbar! So for now, Tanna Babe is hoping her Bigg Boss Sapno Ka Raj Kumar would be a wild card entry! If wild cards turn out to be like Tingus of past (Ajaz Khan types), don't get surprised if Ms. Tanna extends her arm over the house fence, plucks out a rose from the front side of  Bigg Boss House and does a romantic waltz with Aarya Babbar! And Tanna will execute a few bone crushing hugs like these as well: 

4.       Farra Note-4 Says hog like there is no tomorrow. Tanna babe has always taken care to ensure she is slim n trim like proverbial bean pole, but, Bigg Boss ke liye kucchh bhi karoongi, say her notes. She hadnoted with disbelief how Juhi Ji, Gauhar Ji ate noisily with a Chapp-Chapp-Sudukk-Sudukk sound...and who is Karishma to question the champs? Few more days and watch Tanna swallowing food at every opportunity!Clap

5.       Farra Note-5 of Ms. Tanna says she must put Salman Khan in his place and ensure there is a Twitter Trend wave of #DownWithSalmanKhan,   #HirooAuntyNotHindustan. She did try to emulate Champ Gauhar yesterday but being a bad student that she is, once again landed with a massive thud!Dead

6.       Farra Note-6 of Karishma Tanna records that she must apply 6 coats of Make up on her face and emulate Husn-ki-Dukaan, Bigg Boss-7 ki shaan Ms. Gauhar Khan!Embarrassed

As Tanna lacks the natural cuteness, sweetness of Gauhar Ji's face and the sheer force of Gauhar Ji's personality, needless to mention this one bombed too!Dead
Extra coats of Kamla Brand make up kit never had any chance when hairdo chosen seemed so atrocious...Ouch

Instead of emulating cutu-sweetu Gauhar, poor execution of Farra Note-6 ensured Ms. Tanna resembling more like an Icchhadhaari Naagin in agony!Dead

7.       Just in case you thought the Karishma Tanna's FARRA unleashed horror is over, wait till she executes this pose of Juhi Ji. This pose would have a ghastly Tanna twist, sometime around End-October!Geek

Thursday, 9 October 2014

Bigg Boss ka Yaad Aaya Episode

Rohit Shetty has made a few dozen movies titled Golmaal! Wacko

It is tough to recall what happened in which GOLMAAL, but faint memory of one of them makes one recall Johnny Lever as a bhulakkad kind of toughie in one of them. Shocked
Every time Johnny Bhai starts narrating an incident, after a promising start, his eyes pop out of their sockets in shock, there is a massive-booming backdrop voice BHOOO-OOOLA----------------and the poor man forgets everything! Ouch 


YAAD AA RAHA HAI----TERA PYAAR----------------is the loud, wake up Morning Song and as expected, Sonali, Soni and Pritam are gyrating energetically. Puneet Issar hasn't got off the bed but is throwing his feet up in air to indicate he is dancing too. Praneet Bhatt is standing up, his feet and body very still, just the head nodding---just like that of  a disciplined Bharat Natyam viewer! ----------------Slowly Deepshikha-Karishma-Diandra too gain momentum and the Mithun Da number well & truly wakes up all in the end. Wonder what could be the YAAD AA RAHA HAI significance today!


BIGG BOSS (Voice over):Yahaan Upen aur Aarya ghar ke aangan mein baithe hain---------- aur unke nishaane par hain,------ Puneet Issar. Wink

AARYA BABBAR: Oye Upen, bata naa------------Tu Puneet Sir ka bhaai hai? ---------Ki Beta hai? ---------Gulati ko toh bhai banaya hai unhone. Tongue

UPEN PATEL (Sangakkara+Shoaib Akhtar accent): Maalum nayin"Maalum nayin----------ekk deen meyre ko bola tu beyta jaisa hai meyra-------dusra deen bola Baai hai--------------Baai hai tum mera bole wo mujko!

AARYA BABBAR (With a smirk): Jai Ho Puneet Sir ki! Clap

UPEN PATEL: Mein ek Sher maarta hoon abi-----Soon-Soon Aarya---Soon mera Sher-----------------Door se meine dekha toh Anda-----egg------------you no egg------Door se meine dekha toh Anda oobal raha thha------boiling you no------------------Door  se meine dekha------------ toh Anda oobal raha thha-------------paas jaa ke dekha toh Puneet Eesssar oochhal raha thha----he-he-he-he! Big smile

Out of nowhere, Puneet Issar appears from right behind Upen and no wonder, Aarya didn't give any reaction at all!

UPEN PATEL (taken aback): Kya hooa? -----------It wasn't fanny?-----------Fanny nayin thha?---------Ekk aur bolun kya? Shocked

Raising his Kajol type joined eyebrows, Aarya points out to Upen to look behind Upen's back and a horror-struck Upen discovers a very angry Puneet Issar staring at him.  ------------------Suddenly Puneet Issar turns very emotional and breaks down crying! 

PUNEET ISSAR: Cry Upen----Upen---Booo-hooo---Booo-hooo-------Tu mere Bhaai jaisa hai Upen----Bhai hi hai tu mera------Had it not been the Bigg Boss house---booo-hooo---sob-sob---I swear I would have killed you------I swear I would have killed you, ----had it not been Bigg Boss House bro---booo---hooo CryCry

UPEN PATEL: Really sorry, Puneet Bro-----No hard feelings haan-----------Confused

Suddenly time freezes! ---------All become statues and there is lightening sound and a booming stereophonic voice from the skies------YAAAD----- AAA-AAAYAAA!

An angry Salman image appears in sky and screams: Angry Tum yahaan Bhai-Behan-Beti-Bahoo banaane aaye ho? ----HAIN? ----Rishte banaane aaye ho yahaan? ---------GAME KHELO--------GAME!!! HUNHHH Evil Smile

PUNEET ISSAR (Wakes up & with Rajnikkanth Red eyes, turns to Upen, & grabs hold of his neck):  Evil Smile KISKA BHAI? ------Kaisa Bhai? ---------Aaj main tujhe jaan se maar doonga Upen! -------Bahut shero-Shaayri ka shauk hai tujhe? Haan?-----------Aaj ke baad aawaaz naheen niklegi tere gale se!--------------Apne Bhai ko Bhai naheen manta main---property ka case kar rakha hai us ke khilaaf----------- tu kis khet ki mooli hai be Choohe? AngryAngry

UPEN PATEL (Croaking in agony):  Wacko Chhoro-----Chhoro------Meyri  gale ko chhoro--------mein mar jaayengi you beast---Chhoro! Disapprove

Praneet & Gautam somehow rescue Upen from Puneet's clutches. -----------Aarya, who was smiling all the time nearby, ------is seen consoling Upen now and is telling him he really felt very bad at Puneet's violent act and Upen must not take this lying down.Wink

Shaam 6.45 BAJE:
BIGG BOSS (Voice over):Swimming pool ke paas Karishma aur Soni baatein kar rahe hain aur Karishma apne kayi shikwe, Soni ko gina rahi hain!

KARISHMA TANNA:National Television pe Gaali---Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein----maafi ke liye mood nahin thha, ---- Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-----apna task kar rahi thhi-- Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein- Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein------Gautam bahut ganda ladka hai--- Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein- Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein! Dead

Suddenly time freezes! All become statues and there is lightening sound and a booming stereophonic voice from the skies------YAAA---AAAD AAA-AAAYAAA!

An angry Salman image appears in sky and screams: Ye jo tum pichhle 4 din se disqualification-disqualification-disqualification kar rahi ho Evil Smile----is ki Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-Kaayein-----BAHUT BHAARI PAD JAAYEGI TUMKO Karishma----------Angry

KARISHMA TANNA (Collapses uttering a very weak sounding):Kaaayein! Confused
One more barely audible, weak Kaayein & Karishma settles down with sad expressions,---- by the pool side! Confused


All housemates are sleeping and are shown as silver-white ghost like figures lying on their respective beds.

BIGG BOSS VOICE OVER: Bigg Boss ke ghar mein, sabhi sadasya so chuke hain--------Sivaaye ek sadasya ke!------Deepshikha apne bistar pe khadi hui hain aur unke Chauvvan inch (54") ke Plasma Screen jaise munh par passena is tarah dikhaayi de raha hai, ---------jaise Amitabh Bachchan Ji ke chehre par, film Zanzeer mein, jab daraavne sapno mein unhei Ajit ke haath ka ghoda dikhaayi deta thha----Geek

DEEPSHIKHA (Sleeping in standing position, sweating profusely & murmuring): Cry Mujhe maaf kar do Salman!-----Main aaj se hamesha STAND loongi-------Gautam ke liye STAND loongi------Sote hue STAND karoongi------ghar pe seb-santare mein ghusa ke agarbatti jalaati thhi----ab agarbatti-STAND khareedoongi---------Sote hue bhi STAND karoongi---maaf kar do Salman------STAND-STAND-STAND-STAND! CryCryCry
BIGG BOSS (Voice Over):Bigg Boss ke ghar mein, aaj humne kisi ko Rishton ko kuchhalte dekha----toh kisi ki chonch ko band hote hue dekha!---------Kisi ko lete dekha gaya STAND-----kayi Tees-Maar Khano ka baj gaya aaj BAND! Wink