Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Koffee with Karan-Asin Thottu-KAMAAL & KAMAAL Episode

Those who do not know who the great Kamaal Khan is, watch this clip. He is so modest...calls himself a huge star repeatedly...one and only Kamaal ka Dhamaal:


KARAN JOHAR (His gay laughter): Wink Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon! Welcome to yet another episode of Coffee with Karan. Bad ladies and Decent Gentlemen----- Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon------Sorry Sorry! One of my silly jokes---(pats down in air, a non-existent mosquito with his right palm)-------Never mind---------Hawww! So as I was saying-on my right, the dashing Kamaal KRK Khan---and on my left the gorgeous Asin!

KAMAAL (Blows a kiss): Kiss you Asin Thottu-KAMAAL!Tongue

ASIN (places her right thumb on right ear, left thumb on left ear, sticks out her tongue and kid teases): Ooo-ooon!  Chal! PODA--PODA!Unhappy

KARAN JOHAR: Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon-----isn't that lovely? How cute! That's KRK for you guys, totally unplugged in today's Coffee with Karan-----KRK---- Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon-----you so much remind me of SRK----hawww--------so how has been the journey so far?

KAMAAL: Hindustan Mein 118 karod Chauntees laakh do sau chauhattar log, 28 Rajya,  36,745 Jile aur 1 laakh aath hazaar teen sau bees bhaashayen hain. Sirf Meri journey ke bare mein pooch kar, apne show ko chhota mat karo-----Thumbs Up  

KARAN JOHAR: WOW.What a wonderful thought it is. Tell me SRK---Sorry Sorry--- Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon------KRK, how has it been since DESHDROHI?Shocked
KAMAAL is busy blowing kisses in direction of Asin, misses it completely.

KAMAAL: Sorry, you asked something?Wink

Patiently KJO repeats the question!Cry

KAMAAL: By the grace of God, Deshdrohi has been biggest hit since Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. By the grace of God, DESHDROHI brought to front the issue of discrimination of Biharis and UPites in Maharashtra?

KARAN (Taken aback): Brought to front? How? Shocked

KAMAAL: Before DESHDROHI, Marathi Manoos used to ask Biharis and UPites to get out of Maharashtra. After DESHDROHI, they beat up Biharis and UPites. But the issue came to forefront.--------------KISS YOU ASIN-------------LOVE YOU SAYS KAMAAL Wink

ASIN (places her right thumb on right ear, left thumb on left ear, sticks out her tongue and once again responds with): Ooon! Ooon! PODA!Angry

KARAN JOHAR: Tell me Asin. Your critics say, Hawww, I am not saying haan? Critics say you have been 24 since last 4 years. Is it true?Shocked

ASIN (Coy blush): I am Twendy Dree (23) actually.  Tongue My Taadi-----

KARAN JOHAR: Your Daddy??

ASIN: Yeah, my Taadi losd my Berth Cerdificate, so there woze some confuzen. Now we fond id. I am Twendy Dree now!Smile

KAMAAL (does some loud, brisk sniffing and asks): Karan ye badboo kya hai? Studio mein Chooha mar gaya hai kya kaheen?Ermm

KARAN JOHAR: Hawww, I swear, I also can't figure out from where this smell is coming------Shocked
ASIN (Smiles): Id iz my Bodi Odour! Id iz unikkk!Tongue

KARAN JOHAR (Springs up in horror): Goshhh! Oucchhh! Why don't you use some good deo / Perfume Asin?Dead

ASIN (Visibly angry): That is nod nazural! Angry God  made yuvery individual Unikkk! Parfumes / Deos are unnazural things. Dogey sniffs female dogey and they make love, have baby dogeys! Whad parfume? Whad deo?Angry

KARAN JOHAR (has his spotless white handkerchief on his nose now): Hawww---so this is why in your pics you always bare your under-arms-----yuckkk Dead -----Ladies and Gentlemen, please don't go away anywhere, lot more to come right after the break!
After break, we see a seating arrangement change. Asin is at extreme left, Kamal next to Asin two empty chairs and then Karan to extreme right, hanky still on nose!Clap

KARAN JOHAR (begins with a laugh): Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon! Asin, your fans say you carry yourself impeccably on screen, you have not allowed any hero to Kiss you, if I remember right, you did not allow Aamir Khan to even hug you in GHAZNI. How sweet! Actresses of South are really conservative it seems-- Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-honBig smile

ASIN (ANGRY): Angry Whod conzervative? Aamir fellow refused to huggg me or Kiss me in GHAZNI. He said my smell is verrry sdrong. He said he feels giddy. He said if he hugzzz me cloze, he mite lose all his memory. Akshay also stayed away-away in Housefull. Angry  

KAMAAL (blows a kiss towards Asin): Kiss you Asin. KRK says KRK will love you, KRK will hug you, KRK will marry you!

ASIN (Surprised): You don'd have problem wid my bodi odour?Shocked

KAMAAL: What is Body Order?Stern Smile

ASIN: Smelll Buddhhu...!Tongue

KAMAAL: What smell?? You smell like 501 Roses ka Guldasta Asin. Kiss you! (blows 3-4 kisses in Asin's direction)Heart

ASIN (Shocked): How come you are the only man who has no problem wid my Bodi odour?Shocked

KAMAAL (Stands up and delivers a patriotic sermon): Hindustan Mein 118 karod Chauntees laakh do sau chauhattar log, 28 Rajya,  36,745 Jile aur Gyarah karod teen lakh Sattar hazaar Gutter hain. Mujh jaise Karodon log Gutter mein paida hote hain, Gutter mein jeete hain aur Gutter mein Marr jaate hain! Hum jaison ko duniya ki koi badboo dara naheen sakti ---Kiss you Asin! Love you baby!ClapThumbs Up

ASIN (coyly blushing): Aayi---- Embarrassed---Aayi---Aayi LOVE YOU TOO Kamaal!Embarrassed

KAMAAL (not one to get defeated easily): You love me TWO? You love me TWO? I love you TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE--------BILLION-TRILLION ASIN----------(blows a kiss)----Kiss you Asin!Tongue

ASIN (blows back a kiss): Love you Kamaal!

KARAN JOHAR (Laughs): Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon! Mine may be a BUTTS NE BANA DI JODI --- Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon-----Hawww! ---But this is a classic RAB NE BANA DI JODI guys! Congrats to the Badboodar Couple- Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-hon, that's all for today, let Asin and Kamaal enjoy the Coffee together'I will smell some fresh roasted coffee to freshen up my nostrils-- Aun-hon-hon-hon-hon hon-honClapThumbs Up  


  1. haha! Man you are hilarions. Kamaal an Asin made me fall down laughing.

  2. Nicholas D'Souza31 March 2014 at 20:48

    Thottu-KAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAL. ROFL. Keem em coming. :))))))))))))))

  3. Excellent write up. Enjoyed reading it. One of your creative instinc's admirer from Indis Forum