Funopsis-Iguana, Sabse Mohabbat & Romantic Duet Song-Big Boss-7

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Funopsis of Last Week's UN-DEKHA (Wednesday Summary).....NOT SHOWN ON TV!

SUBAH 7.15 BAJE

BIG BOSS (VOICE OVER): Yahaan Elli aaj kuchh jaldi hi uth gayi hain, aur apni aankhein malte hue, bageeche ki ore dheere dheere jaa rahi hain!

ELLI (Suddenly Screams in excitement): ...Wowwwwwww! Wowwwwwww! So beautiful…wowwwwww...

Elli runs back inside house and screams!

ELLI: Gohaaar! Gohaaar. Jaldi-jaldi uthho---jaldi- jaldi –jaldi uthho. –Look, Garden mein Two Iguanas are there. Do-do Iguanas hain wahaan---beegeeche mein!

GAUHAR (who is busy doing make up so that 45 minutes later, she can appear best on TV, when 8 A.M alarm song comes up, continues applying her smudge proof Pink shade Loreal lipstick, Lakme rose fresh face foundation and says nonchalantly): Iggvaana? Iggvaana kya hota hai Elli?

ELLI: Uffo. Hmmm, Lizard ka maafik, Chhipkali ka jaisa------wait I have a pic!

(Elli opens her suitcase and pulls out an album where some zoo pics are also there and she shows Gauhar what an Iguana looks like. 

Very excited Gauhar too comes out running with Elli).

GAUHAR (takes one look at the ‘two Iguanas’ and says in her dismissive Husky voice): ...Hatttt! Paagal Elli. Ye Sangram aur Apurva hain! Neend mein kuchh bhi bad-bad karti ho. --------------Jab aapne dekha, Sangram Apurva ko Yoga sikha raha hoga, garden mein------abhi dono Sofe pe baithe hain!   

ELLI: Oops. He-he-he 

GAUHAR (Conspiratorial, Husky low tone): Thats OK Elli -------------Just remember what I told you yesterday! Is ghar mein, tum agar kisi pe bharosa kar sakti ho------(pause)----trust kar sakto ho---------TOH (pause)---WO (pause)---MAIN (LONG PAUSE)------HOON! SIRF MAIN---Got it?

ELLI (Buddhu baccha expressions): Haan!

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SUBAH 10.40 BAJE

BIG BOSS (Voice Over): Yahaan Jannat ki rasoi mein Sangram khade hain, aur unhein gher kar Kamya, Pratyusha, Ratan aur Shilpa khade hain.

KAMYA: Sangram, aapne kam se kam 10 baar mujhe bola hai ki aap mujhe khud se jyaada chaahte hain. Bola hai ki naheen bola?

PRATYUSHA: Sangram Ji, aapne kam se kam 10 baar mujhe bhi bola hai ki aap mujhe kh ud se jyaada chaahte hain. Bola hai ki naheen bola?

SANGRAM: O Ji jubaan katt ke gir jaaye meri jo main jhutt bollun. Bilkul bolla Ji…Ek sau Per-saint bolla hai!  

RATAN: Yahaan gaur karne waali baat toh ye hai ki, yehi baat Sangram Ji ne humein bhi boli hai! Infact, kayi baar boli hai!

SHILPA (rolls up her eyes up and down viciously, as she hisses) :  Mujhe toh KONSTTTTANTTTTLY bola hai, pehle din se bola hai------, KONSTTTTANTTTTLY, KONSTTTTANTTTTLY, KONSTTTTANTTTTLY bola hai!

SANGRAM: Arey haan, haan, haan!--------------- Maine aap sabko bolla ki main aap ko apne se jaadda chaahta hoon. Toh?------------Ek insaan ek se jaadda ko apni jaan se jaadda kyun naheen chaah sakta? ----Kya Dropadi Bheemmm ko Yudhisttttar se kam chaahti thhi? ----------Ya Dropadi ki mohabbat Nakullll ke liye Sahdebbb, ya Arjunn se kam thhi?

ANDY (Sneaks in from behind): Hawww kameene! ----Tune in sab ko bhi bola kya? Ki tu inko apni jaan se jyaada chaahta hai? -------You are a luchha, you know. Ek number ka tuchha hai tu Sangram!---Hawwww! Draupadi ko badnaam karta hai? Tu tucchha modern day Draupadaa hai Sangram. ------------Bata doon in sabko apni private baat?

KAMYA: In sab ko bhi se kya matlab Andy?---Haan haan, batao kya bataana chaahte ho tum!

PRATYUSHA: Haan, in sab ko bhi se kya matlab Andy?---Haan haan, batao kya bataana chaahte ho tum!

ANDY: Arey har raat ko ye kameena sotey time, meri tummy ke oopar haath rakh ke bolta hai,”Undie, O Undie! So gaya kya Undie?”

SANGRAM (in panic): Chupp—Chupp Undie---Tujhe meri kasam chupp ho jaa Undie!

ANDY: Phir ye mujhe bolta hai,”Undie, mere yaar, phans gaya hoon Payal ke saath yaar!---- Payal ke saath meri wo haalat hai ki Zindagi zhand hai, ---Phir bhi ghamand hai!”

SANGRAM (in sheer panic makes a lunge at Andy): Undie ke bacche, main kehta hoon chupp ho jaa phorann---

Kamya, Pratyusha, Shilpa tightly grab hold of Sangram’s arms and prevent him from shutting Andy’s mouth up!

Ratan jumps high but is unable to reach Sangram’s arm level.  She tries grabbing him by waist but it is uncomfortable and she releases the grip. She pauses to give it a quick think and finally comes up with a breathtaking Kabaddi dive and grabs hold of Sangram’s left knee!

KAMYA: Haan Andy, aur kya bola is Jhoote, makkaar, kameene ne?

PRATYUSHA (repeats): Bolo Andy, aur kya bola is Jhoote, makkaar, kameene ne?

RATAN (from below): Arey jaldi boliye Andy Ji. Ye apni taang chhudaane ke liye zor laga rahe hain! Jyaada der naheen jakad paayenge hum inhein bhai!

ANDY: Ye roz meri tummy pe haath rakh ke bolta hai, ,”Undie!---Undie mere yaar, phans gaya hoon Payal ke saath! Payal ke saath meri wo haalat hai ki Zindagi zhand hai, Phir bhi ghamand hai! -----Big Bose ke ghar mein aane ke baad samjha hoon, ki meri asli mohabbat tu hai Undie. Tujhe toh apni jaan se jyaadda pyaar karta hoon main pagle!”……Awwwww! Grrrrrrrrrr! Mohabbat my big, bloody left foot! Huttttttt! Jhoota, ghatiya---makkar Sangram!

All ladies jerk aside Sangram with a collective shriek of,”Chhhheeeeee! Thhhoooooooo!”  

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SHAAM 8.30 BAJE:

BIG BOSS (Voice over): Yahaan Gauhar aur Kushal, jahannum ke ek badboodaar gadde pe leyte hue hain aur pyaar-mohabbat ke geet gaa rahe hain!

KUSHAL:

Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam

 Pyar hota hai deevana sanam

Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam

Pyar hota hai deewana sanam

Ab yahaan se kaha jaayen hum?

Teri baahon mein mar jaayen hum!

GAUHAR:

Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam

 Pyar hota hai deewana sanam

Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam

Pyar hota hai deevana sanam

Ab yahaan se kaha jaayen hum?

Teri baahon mein mar jaayen hum!

KUSHAL:

Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam

GAUHAR:

Aankhein meri, sapne tere, Dil mera yaadein teri

KUSHAL:

Ho… mera hai kya (la la la), sab kuchh tera (la la la)

 Jaan teri, saansein teri… 

ARMAAN: Excuse me, excuse me! O hello Love birds-------- I am sorry, I am sorry to interrupt. --------------Acchha gaa rahe ho dono, but slight mistake hai.-------- Kushal, tu Lata Ji waala portion gaa raha hai---Gauhar, aap Kumar Sanu waala portion gaa rahi ho.-------- Correct the order. It’s a male-female duet yaar.

KUSHAL: What do you mean? Maine to Kumar Sanu waala male portion hi gaaya---

GAUHAR (grabs Kushal by arm & comes up with a deep husky tone): Meri aawaaz pe joke kar rahe hain ye Babu. -------Inke kehne ka matlab hai meri aawaaz aapse jyaada mardaana hai-----manly hai!

KUSHAL: Really Beyboo?

GAUHAR: Haan Baabu!

ARMAAN:  O hello, mujhe koi shauq naheen hai teri aawaaz sun-ne ka---Jo laga, wo bol diya imaandaari se-----

GAUHAR: Aap hamein Love Birds bolne ki himmat mat keejiye…….aur Aap mujhse tu-tadaak mat keejiye—

ARMAAN: Arey tere se baat hi kaun kar raha hai, chal-chal—phoot yahaan se---

GAUHAR: Baat karne ki tameez naheen hai aap ko---

ARMAAN: Arey tujhse baat karna hi kaun chahta hai, chup kar!

GAUHAR: You shut up!

ARMAAN: Chal, chal, jaa idhar se abhi!

GAUHAR: Chaliye, chaliye, aap Jaayiye idhar se abhi!

ARMAAN: Chupppppppppp! Chupppppp!!!!

GAUHAR: Aap chuppppppppppp!  

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Night time shot!

Hazy figures are seen sleeping around in their silvery-white bedsheets and blankets!

BIG BOSS (Voice over): Big Boss ke ghar mein, aaj kisi ko Insaano mein chhipkaliyaan nazar aayi, ----toh kisi ki sabse mohabbat karne ki fitrat ne kar di uski khinchaayee!----------- Kisi ke pyaar bhare, mohabbat ke geet mein pad gaya rang mein bhang------aur kuchh sadasyon ke beech ho gayi, khaam-khvaah ki faaltoo hud-dang!

Jhelte Rahiye Ye Manhoos Programme! Big Baas!