Tuesday 1 October 2013

Fun-opsis October 7th Episode (Big Boss Ka Aadesh, Gauhar-Sangram Ko)


8.00 A.M.
SUBAH 8.00 BAJE:

Ahuja Speakers of Big Boss House go full blast and its Oooh La La, La La La, Oooh La La, La La La, Tu Hai Meri Fantasy as today’s morning alarm song. Tongue
Men in house, with their stubble and disheveled appearance, appear to be a few million years behind in evolution terms, while all females appear ready to enter Friday Night discotheque nearby. 

Especially noticeable is smudge proof maroon Loreal Lipstick of Gauhar, as she pouts her lips and lip syncs to “Chhoona Na Chhoona Na, Chhoona Na Chhoona Na, Ab Main Jawaan Ho gayi!” Smart babe that she is, she is crooning this line alternately to a Neanderthal resembling Kushal and a more contemporary Homosapien looking Asif. Geek
Each time Gauhar offers a thumka towards Asif, Kushal’s face is displaying changed expressions! One moment it seems he wants to kill Asif  Angry-------and very next moment, it appears he would burst out crying!Cry
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10.30 A.M.
SUBAH 10.30 BAJE

Big Boss has called, Sangram from Jahannum and Gauhar from Jannat, to the confession room.


BIG BOSS: Gauhar, Sangram---

GAUHAR: Yes Big Boss? Embarrassed

SANGRAM: Ji Big Bose!Shocked

BIG BOSS: Big Boss chahte hain ki, aap dono, Jannat aur Jahannum ke sabhi sadsyon ko bulaayein------------- aur dono taraf ke sabhi sadasyon se acchi tarah salaah-mashvira karne ka baad, -----bahumat ka poori tarasamman karte hue,-------------- ye Nirnay lein ki poore ghar mein se wo kaun se Do sadasya hain, jinka vyavahaar, picchle poore saptaah mein sabse accha raha hai -------------aur jinhone apne sabhi kaaryon ko bakhoobi nibhaya hai!--------------------Poore ghar dvaara chune hue ye do sadasya, nominations ki prakriya se poori tarah se surakshit maane jaayenge!

After thanking Big Boss, both Gauhar and Sangram come out.

Once out of the confession room, Gauhar taps Sangram on shoulder, stops him in his tracks and a conversation follows.

GAUHAR (Very innocent looks): Disapprove---Sangram Ji, mere hisaab se toh Jahannum mein aapka bartaav aur kaarya sabse acchhe rahe hain.------------ Aapko kya lagta hai, Jannat mein sabse acchha behavior  kiska raha hai?Disapprove

SANGRAM (blushes): Blushing Gohar Ji---- Ek sau Parsaint sacch bol rahaan hoon-----apne se jyaaddda chaahta hoon Ji main aapko---Blushing

GAUHAR (wave of hand):Ermm Arey woh main jaanti hoon------ Sab mujhe khud se jyaada chaahte hain----Kushal bhi, Asif bhi, Big Boss bhi ---- aur aap bhi!---------Answer the question please! -------Aapko lagta hai Jannat ke kisi bhi sadasya ka vyavahaar ya kaarya mujhse better raha hai?

SANGRAM:Shocked Rehta Jahannum mein hoon Gohar Ji--------, magar aankheinn meri Jannat pe gadi rehti hain ole the taim Ji!-------woh jaise Arjun ki nazar chidiya ki aankh pe rehti thhi naa?—theek waise hi Gohar Ji---

GAUHAR: Angry---Uffffffffff! Jawaab do naa!

SANGRAM (Starts muttering something barely audible, under his breath): Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm! Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm! Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm!

GAUHAR (Amazed expressions): Geek--Kya Sangram?

SANGRAM (with a blush): Blushing O Ji, Bhagwaan ki kasam Ji, --Bhagwaan Ji ki kasam khaa ke keh raha hoon main-------aapse acchha bartaav kaun kar sakta hai Ji?-----------------Ekk-dumm Saaf dil ki hain aap, saare kaam shinshiyarly karti hain, ----ekdum shinshiyarly! --------Aap ka Behaviyar bhi baste, kaam-kaaj bhi baste, aap baston se baste Ji!Blushing

Both walk to their sides with smiles of satisfaction on their respective faces!
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16.40 Hrs.
SHAAM 4.40 BAJE

Leadership bug bits Gauhar and she starts!


GAUHAR: Shocked--Hello, Hello, hello. Please sabhi log paas aa jaayiye aur meri baat GAUR SE SUNIYE!--------- Aaj subah Big Boss ne mujhe aur Sangram ko Confession room mein bulaaya thha!---------

(All come nearer on both sides). 

GAUHAR (Continues):  Embarrassed--Suno please.------- Koi beech mein mat boliye---main distract ho jaati hoon! ---Haan! ---Subah mujhe aur Sangram ko Big Boss ne bulaaya aur aadesh diya hai ki Main aur Sangram decide karein ki Jannat mein last week kiska behavior sabse accha thha aur Jahannum mein kiska behavior sabse acchha thha.------------------ Decide sirf aur sirf, hum dono ko hi karna hai, magar Big Boss ne bola aap logo se bhi salaah-----

KAMYA: Angry O Hellllllllllllllloooooooooooooooo! Not every time haan? –Pichhli baari aapne jhoot bola thha---

PRATYUSHA: Haan! Jhoot bola thha!

ELLI (Buddhu Baccha Expressions): Bola? Goher ne kya bola? Disapprove  

KAMYA (Angry expressions): AngryAgar decide aapne aur Sangram Ji ne hi karna hai,------- toh humaari salaah ki kya zaroorat hai? Evil Smile

PRATYUSHA: Haan kya zaroorat hai?Angry

ELLI: Haan ! Kisko zur- ---------I mean------- kisko zoor-aurat---zoor-aurat hai? Disapprove

GAUHAR: Hello. You can’t do this to me Kamya. Agar main galat hoon toh Big Boss decision change kar denge naa?

KAMYA: Naheen Ji Madam. Ye naheen chalega har baar. ----------Khao kasam ki Big Boss ne aisa hi bola thha---


PRATUSHA (finger raised): Kasam khaa ke boliye Gouhar Ji.Angry

ELLI: Khao. -------Khasam  ko poora khao!Disapprove

GAUHAR:Shocked--- What do you mean by Kasam-vasam-----what rubbish yaar?? Goshh! 21st Centrury people, asking for Kasam-vasam. What rubbish yaar?Angry

KAMYA: Angry--Arey ye toh jhooti kasam bhi kha legi. ---------Sangram-------Sangram Ji. AAP SACCHI- SACHHI BATAAYIYE, Big Boss ne exactly kya bola thha! ----Khaiye Bhagwaan ki kasam aur boliye---kya bola Big Boss ne?Angry

SANGRAM (helpless expressions): Ouch---Woh---Woh Kamya Ji, Big Bose ne bolla ki----

KAMYA: Haan Sangram, jaldi boliye, exactly kya bola Big Boss ne---

PRATYUSHA: Boliye kya bola?Angry

ELLI: Haan!-------- Kya bhoola Big Boss ne?Shocked  


SANGRAM (his eyes meet blazing expressions of Gauhar and he starts muttering something under his breath): Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm! Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm! Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm!

RATAN: Embarrassed---Arrrey!!!---Kya bad-bad-bad bad kar rahe hain Sangram Ji?---- Arey--Asli mudde ki baat bataaiye naa?LOL

SANGRAM:Geek--- O Ji, Bhagwaan ki kasam Ji, --Bhagwaan Ji ki kasam khaa ke keh raha hoon main Ji----------Ki  Gauhar Ji bilkul sachh keh rahi hain Ji. --------Big Bose ne bolya hai ki donno kandidaton ka chunaav toh hum donno ko hi karna hai ji!Blushing

GAUHAR:Dancing Dekha?------- Aise hi kisi ko Jhoota keh dena kitna aasaan hota hai? -------Mere hisaab se picchle poore hafte, Jahannum mein sabse accha Behaviour Sangram Ji ka raha hai! ---------Aur task bhi inhone sabse seriously kiya hai!Party  


SANGRAM: BlushingMain bhi ek-dam shinsheeyarly keh riya hoon, Gohar Ji ka behabiyar, Jannat mein supper raha ji, ek dum Tope-klass.  ------Task mein bhi Tope-Klass, -----behabiyar mein bhi tope---ek dum tope! Tope hi tope Ji!Clap

Disgruntled and visibly rattled housemates disperse to different directions of house and start cursing both Sangram and Gauhar!
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22.30 HRS.
RAAT 10.30 BAJE:

Yahaan Jahannum aur Jannat ke beech ki deewar ke paas, Gauhar aur Sangram khusar-pusar kar rahe hain!

GAUHAR: Accha Sangram, ek baat batao!Day Dreaming

SANGRAM: Pehle toh aapko aur mujhko bahut-bahut mubarakbaad ji.----- Ek hafte nomee-nation se suraksit ho gaye ji hum dono. Party---------Haan, poochhiye Gohar Ji!Shocked

GAUHAR:Embarrassed----- Haan, thank you. -------Congratulations Sangram Ji!-------------------Sangram? Wo jab din mein maine tumse akele mein poochha thha---aur baad mein Kamya ne poochha thha---toh woh dheere dheere bad-badaate hue kya bol rahe thhe aap?Shocked

SANGRAM (blushes): BlushingO Ji, waise toh ye baat maine Payal Rohtaggi ko bhi naa bataayi aaj tak. ---------Magar aap mujhe apni jaan se bhi jyaada acchi lagti ho ji. -------Aapko bata detta hoon---

GAUHAR (pushes her ear closer to Sangram’s mouth & in conspiratorial-husky tone explodes): Bolo naa please!Day Dreaming

SANGRAM (looks around & whispers):Approve-- O Ji jab bhi mujhe Bhagwaan ji ki Jhutti kasam khaanni hotti hai naa?----------- Toh main teen baari dheere-dheere bolta hoon-----HARE BAAG MEIN LAAL SUPAARI, SITTA MAA NE KASAM UTAARI, ---- HARE BAAG MEIN LAAL SUPAARI, SITTA MAA NE KASAM UTAARI------- HARE BAAG MEIN LAAL SUPAARI, SITTA MAA NE KASAM UTAARI!Blushing

GAUHAR (wide eyed in amazement):Geek---- Haaye Allah Sangram? Aap toh mujhse bhi bade--------

SANGRAM: Hahahaha! Maanti ho naa?LOL
Both do a High-Five and retreat to their respective corners!

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11.45 HRS:
RAAT 11.45 BAJE:

Hazy figures are seen sleeping around in their silvery-white bed-sheets and blankets!

BIG BOSS (Voice over): Big Boss ke ghar mein aaj, -----------Kisi ne Jhooti kasmein khaa kar nibhaaye Vaade, ---------Toh kisi ke choor choor ho gaye Iraade!-------- Jahaan koi chaturayi se bacha gaya apne oopar se nominations ki maar, --------waheen kayiyon ke sir par latak gayi hai nominations aur eviction ki dhaardaar Talwaar!

Jhelte Rahiye Ye Manhoos Programme--------Big Baas!Dead

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