8.00 A.M.
SUBAH 8.00 BAJE:
Ahuja Speakers of Big Boss House
go full blast and its Oooh La La, La La La, Oooh La La, La La La, Tu Hai Meri
Fantasy as today’s morning alarm song.
Men in house, with their stubble
and disheveled appearance, appear to be a few million years behind in evolution
terms, while all females appear ready to enter Friday Night discotheque nearby.
Especially noticeable is smudge proof maroon Loreal Lipstick of Gauhar, as she
pouts her lips and lip syncs to “Chhoona Na Chhoona Na, Chhoona Na Chhoona Na,
Ab Main Jawaan Ho gayi!” Smart babe that she is, she is crooning this line
alternately to a Neanderthal resembling Kushal and a more contemporary Homosapien
looking Asif.
Each time Gauhar offers a thumka
towards Asif, Kushal’s face is displaying changed expressions! One moment it
seems he wants to kill Asif -------and very next moment, it appears he would burst out
crying!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10.30 A.M.
SUBAH 10.30 BAJE
Big Boss has called, Sangram from Jahannum and Gauhar from
Jannat, to the confession room.
BIG BOSS: Gauhar, Sangram---
GAUHAR: Yes Big Boss?
SANGRAM: Ji Big Bose!
BIG BOSS: Big Boss chahte hain ki, aap dono, Jannat aur
Jahannum ke sabhi sadsyon ko bulaayein------------- aur dono taraf ke sabhi
sadasyon se acchi tarah salaah-mashvira karne ka baad, -----bahumat ka poori
tarasamman karte hue,-------------- ye Nirnay lein ki poore ghar mein se wo
kaun se Do sadasya hain, jinka vyavahaar, picchle poore saptaah mein sabse
accha raha hai -------------aur jinhone apne sabhi kaaryon ko bakhoobi nibhaya
hai!--------------------Poore ghar dvaara chune hue ye do sadasya, nominations
ki prakriya se poori tarah se surakshit maane jaayenge!
After thanking Big Boss, both Gauhar and Sangram come out.
Once out of the confession room, Gauhar taps Sangram on
shoulder, stops him in his tracks and a conversation follows.
GAUHAR (Very innocent looks): ---Sangram Ji, mere hisaab se toh
Jahannum mein aapka bartaav aur kaarya sabse acchhe rahe hain.------------
Aapko kya lagta hai, Jannat mein sabse acchha behavior kiska raha hai?
SANGRAM (blushes):
Gohar Ji---- Ek sau Parsaint sacch bol rahaan hoon-----apne se jyaaddda
chaahta hoon Ji main aapko---
GAUHAR (wave of hand): Arey woh main jaanti hoon------ Sab
mujhe khud se jyaada chaahte hain----Kushal bhi, Asif bhi, Big Boss bhi ----
aur aap bhi!---------Answer the question please! -------Aapko lagta hai Jannat
ke kisi bhi sadasya ka vyavahaar ya kaarya mujhse better raha hai?
SANGRAM: Rehta Jahannum mein hoon Gohar Ji--------, magar
aankheinn meri Jannat pe gadi rehti hain ole the taim Ji!-------woh jaise Arjun
ki nazar chidiya ki aankh pe rehti thhi naa?—theek waise hi Gohar Ji---
GAUHAR: ---Uffffffffff! Jawaab do naa!
SANGRAM (Starts muttering something barely audible, under
his breath): Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm! Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm! Har-mmmm,
Sitt….mmmmmm!
GAUHAR (Amazed expressions): --Kya Sangram?
SANGRAM (with a blush): O Ji, Bhagwaan ki kasam Ji, --Bhagwaan Ji ki
kasam khaa ke keh raha hoon main-------aapse acchha bartaav kaun kar sakta hai
Ji?-----------------Ekk-dumm Saaf dil ki hain aap, saare kaam shinshiyarly
karti hain, ----ekdum shinshiyarly! --------Aap ka Behaviyar bhi baste,
kaam-kaaj bhi baste, aap baston se baste Ji!
Both walk to their sides with smiles of satisfaction on
their respective faces!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
16.40 Hrs.
SHAAM 4.40 BAJE
Leadership bug bits Gauhar and she starts!
GAUHAR: --Hello, Hello, hello. Please sabhi log paas aa
jaayiye aur meri baat GAUR SE SUNIYE!--------- Aaj subah Big Boss ne mujhe aur
Sangram ko Confession room mein bulaaya thha!---------
(All come nearer on both sides).
GAUHAR (Continues): --Suno please.------- Koi beech mein mat
boliye---main distract ho jaati hoon! ---Haan! ---Subah mujhe aur Sangram ko
Big Boss ne bulaaya aur aadesh diya hai ki Main aur Sangram decide karein ki
Jannat mein last week kiska behavior sabse accha thha aur Jahannum mein kiska behavior
sabse acchha thha.------------------ Decide sirf aur sirf, hum dono ko hi karna
hai, magar Big Boss ne bola aap logo se bhi salaah-----
KAMYA: O Hellllllllllllllloooooooooooooooo! Not every time
haan? –Pichhli baari aapne jhoot bola thha---
PRATYUSHA: Haan! Jhoot bola thha!
ELLI (Buddhu Baccha Expressions): Bola? Goher ne kya bola?
KAMYA (Angry expressions): Agar decide aapne aur Sangram Ji
ne hi karna hai,------- toh humaari salaah ki kya zaroorat hai?
PRATYUSHA: Haan kya zaroorat hai?
ELLI: Haan ! Kisko zur- ---------I mean------- kisko
zoor-aurat---zoor-aurat hai?
GAUHAR: Hello. You can’t do this to me Kamya. Agar main
galat hoon toh Big Boss decision change kar denge naa?
KAMYA: Naheen Ji Madam. Ye naheen chalega har baar. ----------Khao
kasam ki Big Boss ne aisa hi bola thha---
PRATUSHA (finger raised): Kasam khaa ke boliye Gouhar Ji.
ELLI: Khao. -------Khasam ko poora khao!
GAUHAR:--- What do you mean by Kasam-vasam-----what rubbish
yaar?? Goshh! 21st Centrury people, asking for Kasam-vasam. What
rubbish yaar?
KAMYA: --Arey ye toh jhooti kasam bhi kha legi. ---------Sangram-------Sangram
Ji. AAP SACCHI- SACHHI BATAAYIYE, Big Boss ne exactly kya bola thha! ----Khaiye
Bhagwaan ki kasam aur boliye---kya bola Big Boss ne?
SANGRAM (helpless expressions): ---Woh---Woh Kamya Ji, Big Bose
ne bolla ki----
KAMYA: Haan Sangram, jaldi boliye, exactly kya bola Big Boss
ne---
PRATYUSHA: Boliye kya bola?
ELLI: Haan!-------- Kya bhoola Big Boss ne?
SANGRAM (his eyes meet blazing expressions of Gauhar and he
starts muttering something under his breath): Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm! Har-mmmm,
Sitt….mmmmmm! Har-mmmm, Sitt….mmmmmm!
RATAN: ---Arrrey!!!---Kya bad-bad-bad bad kar rahe hain Sangram
Ji?---- Arey--Asli mudde ki baat bataaiye naa?
SANGRAM:--- O Ji, Bhagwaan ki kasam Ji, --Bhagwaan Ji ki kasam
khaa ke keh raha hoon main Ji----------Ki Gauhar Ji bilkul sachh keh rahi hain Ji. --------Big
Bose ne bolya hai ki donno kandidaton ka chunaav toh hum donno ko hi karna hai
ji!
GAUHAR: Dekha?------- Aise hi kisi ko Jhoota keh dena kitna
aasaan hota hai? -------Mere hisaab se picchle poore hafte, Jahannum mein sabse
accha Behaviour Sangram Ji ka raha hai! ---------Aur task bhi inhone sabse
seriously kiya hai!
SANGRAM: Main bhi ek-dam shinsheeyarly keh riya hoon, Gohar
Ji ka behabiyar, Jannat mein supper raha ji, ek dum Tope-klass. ------Task mein bhi Tope-Klass, -----behabiyar
mein bhi tope---ek dum tope! Tope hi tope Ji!
Disgruntled and visibly rattled housemates disperse to
different directions of house and start cursing both Sangram and Gauhar!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
22.30 HRS.
RAAT 10.30 BAJE:
Yahaan Jahannum aur Jannat ke beech ki deewar ke paas,
Gauhar aur Sangram khusar-pusar kar rahe hain!
GAUHAR: Accha Sangram, ek baat batao!
SANGRAM: Pehle toh aapko aur mujhko bahut-bahut mubarakbaad
ji.----- Ek hafte nomee-nation se suraksit ho gaye ji hum dono. ---------Haan,
poochhiye Gohar Ji!
GAUHAR:----- Haan, thank you. -------Congratulations Sangram
Ji!-------------------Sangram? Wo jab din mein maine tumse akele mein poochha
thha---aur baad mein Kamya ne poochha thha---toh woh dheere dheere bad-badaate
hue kya bol rahe thhe aap?
SANGRAM (blushes): O Ji, waise toh ye baat maine Payal
Rohtaggi ko bhi naa bataayi aaj tak. ---------Magar aap mujhe apni jaan se bhi
jyaada acchi lagti ho ji. -------Aapko bata detta hoon---
GAUHAR (pushes her ear closer to Sangram’s mouth & in
conspiratorial-husky tone explodes): Bolo naa please!
SANGRAM (looks around & whispers):-- O Ji jab bhi mujhe
Bhagwaan ji ki Jhutti kasam khaanni hotti hai naa?----------- Toh main teen
baari dheere-dheere bolta hoon-----HARE BAAG MEIN LAAL SUPAARI, SITTA MAA NE
KASAM UTAARI, ---- HARE BAAG MEIN LAAL SUPAARI, SITTA MAA NE KASAM
UTAARI------- HARE BAAG MEIN LAAL SUPAARI, SITTA MAA NE KASAM UTAARI!
GAUHAR (wide eyed in amazement):---- Haaye Allah Sangram? Aap
toh mujhse bhi bade--------
SANGRAM: Hahahaha! Maanti ho naa?
Both do a High-Five and retreat to their respective corners!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11.45 HRS:
RAAT 11.45 BAJE:
Hazy figures are seen sleeping around in their silvery-white bed-sheets and blankets!
BIG BOSS (Voice over): Big Boss ke ghar mein aaj, -----------Kisi ne Jhooti kasmein khaa kar nibhaaye Vaade, ---------Toh kisi ke choor choor ho gaye Iraade!-------- Jahaan koi chaturayi se bacha gaya apne oopar se nominations ki maar, --------waheen kayiyon ke sir par latak gayi hai nominations aur eviction ki dhaardaar Talwaar!
Jhelte Rahiye Ye Manhoos Programme--------Big Baas!
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