Thursday, 5 November 2015

Non stop Kheencha-taani & BiggBoss ki Naani

All housemates are in living hall and doing their khus-puss-khuss-puss with each other.
Rochelle signals Keith to get up and report to her for a hug. Tongue protruded, Keith lunges forward like a well-trained puppy and this results in a scream--------------from Mandana ofcourse -----------as she is firmly tied to Keith.

MANDANA: Ouchhh! Angry---------------------------You beast-----------------koi aadmi aise uthti hai kya?---------------------Ek dum se force waali jhatkee ke saath? ---------------Main Doggy--------Dog----wo------------Kutta ki tarah pull ho gaya---------------ouchh! Ohh Maa!!!Cry 

KEITH: Mandana-Mandana--- if I hurt you I am sorry Confused----but itni baar din mein-----aap achanak hi idhar udhar chal deti hain-----------without informing-warning me--------------Whether I want or don't want, mujhe aapke saath-saath jaana padta hai------------------maine kuchh bola kya kabhi?Shocked

MANDANA: Problem aapka nahin hai------wo aapka girlfriend ka brain----damaag----damaag kaam nahiin karti hai too often Ouch--------------unglee pe nachaata hai aap ko aapka girlfriend------------------and as we are tied to this bloody chain, uska ungli-----------------mujhko ho jaati hai us ka ungli Angry-------------------time and again!------Angry

ROCHELLE: Stop calling me Keith's girlfriend!-------- Sabko maloom hai mera ek naam hai aur wo hai Rochelle!Angry -------(Turns to Keith and says)----come mera baby----give momma a hug!Hug 

Keith instantly jerks forward and its yet another huge Ouchhh-hhh-hhh"o Mamaaa scream from Mandana!D'oh 

---------------------------------------------------BIGG BOSS DOPAHAR 13:30 Baje

BIGG BOSS (Voice Over): Rimi-----

RIMI SEN (Keeps examining her index finger's manicure perfection and nonchalantly says): Bhaunkiye!!!

BIGG BOSS (Coughs  & clears his throat): Bhaunkiye naheen--------------Kahiye kehte hain Rimi----Shocked

RIMI SEN (Shifts her attention to little finger nail now): Kehte doosre log hain---aap bhaunkte hi ho!Approve

BIGG BOSS (Upset voice): Rimi------------Bigg Boss chaahte hain ki aap fauran confession room mein aa jaayein!Confused

Rimi turns around towards Cam on top of Sink, hatred oozing out of eyes!

RIMI SEN: Jao, naheen aati! Angry------------------Nikaal do mujhe show se---mujhe naheen rehna hai yahaan waise bhi------------(Starts humming)-------Shik-dum-shik-dum-shik-dum-shik-dum-shik-dum-shik-dum!Dancing  

Those wanting to stay on right side of Bigg Boss and foolishly hoping they are the ones who will win the reduced prize money of 39 lacs approx., (geniuses like Suyyash, Prince, Kishwar that is),  literally fall down on her feet and beg her to go to the confession room! 
---------------A very reluctant Rimi drags her feet somehow to the confession room. Suyyash, Prince, Kishwar, Digangana hold Rimi's hands to ensure she doesn't change her mind till she reaches the confession room and Rimi's drag at every step is resembling that of a stubborn fat goat being dragged for Qurbaani on Bakr-Eid day!Ermm 


BIGG BOSS: Rimi----

RIMI SEN (Sounds irritated): Kya hai? Angry
Rimi is seen looking upwards and rotating her eyes left to right to left again, disinterested and with clear expressions of disgust on her face!

BIGG BOSS: Bigg Boss ko ye katayi pasand naheen hai ki aap har din,------------ ghar ke sadasyon se Bigg Boss ki buraayi karti hain---unka Niraadar karti hain---Shocked 

RIMI SEN: O Hello Mr. Niraadar!--------apni chaadar mein raho tum! Angry------------Main yahaan nahin aayi hoon kisi ka aadar-vaadar karne. -----------------Tumhara toh bilkul bhi naheen!Angry

Bigg Boss's horny eye is shown X-raying Rimi from top to bottom again and again, but there is clearly visible expression of pain there too.

BIGG BOSS (Sounding very frustrated now): Aakhir Samasya kya hai Rimi?Confused -----------------Aap Bigg Boss ke ghar mein hain aur Bigg Boss ka, ----------------un ke banaaye niyam-kanoon ka aadar karna aapka farz hai!Confused 

RIMI SEN: Samasya aap ho-----Bhagwaan kare band ho jaaye ye manhoos show----------------naheen karna mujhe aapka Aadar!-----------------Nikaal do mujhe baahar!-------Bag packed hi hai waise!----- Jaun??? Angry 

BIGG BOSS (A bit irritated): Rimi-----Itni hi nafrat hai Bigg Boss se aur Bigg Boss ke Niyam-Kanoon se, toh aap khud kyun naheen chali jaati show se? Disapprove 

RIMI SEN: O Hello!---------- Mujhe wo Prince-Suyyashh type paidal dimaag socha hai kya? Angry-------------- Khud jaungi toh wo nahin ho jaayega?? Wacko---

BIGG BOSS (Hopeful voice): Wo nahin ho jaayega? --------------Kya nahin ho jaayega Rimi? Blushing

RIMI SEN: Ladka nahin ho jaayega----mand buddhi! Angry-----------Arey Wo ho jaayega matlab---Breach----Breach of contract ho jaayega!----Mujhe naheen karna fine pay!-----Aap nikaalo mujhe---FAURAN! Angry 
BIGG BOSS (Devastated Voice): Rimi---aap jaa sakti hain!Confused  

RIMI SEN: Naheen poora bhaunk lo aaj aur abhi!----Armaan mat rakho dil mein! Angry-----Dobara nahin aaungi ab kabhi---naa show mein, naa is ghutan bhare, aapke is badboodar kamre mein! Evil Smile  

BIGG BOSS (Broken voice): Kahaa naa"(sob)-----Jaa sakti hain aap (Sob-sob) Cry

BIGG BOSS (Voice Over): Yahaan Rochelle garden area mein baithi hain, Keith ne apna sir unki godi mein rakha hua hai, aur Keith se bandhi hui Mandana,--------------- jhaadi ke paas baithi hui hain, kuchh naaraaz si----------------Ghutno ke bal!Tongue 

ROCHELLE (softly playing with Keith's hair): O Mera pyaara Baby----Darling stay tough!------------Ye sab jald hi khatam ho jaayega----Finale waala night pe Embarrassed----------"jab main first aur tum second prize win karenge jaan!Heart 

KEITH (murmurs his concurrence like an affectionate puppy)

MANDANA (Hatred blazing through eyes): O hello! Angry----Tum dono people ka Prem story finish hua toh can I go inside? ---Yahaan bahut mosquitos hain----mera elbow aur thighs pe kaat rahi hain and I can't go on taking these bites! Angry

ROCHELLE: Why are you so inconsiderate Mandana? Shocked---Keith mera boyfriend hai!---We need to be together sometime? Shocked

MANDANA: Sometimes? Sometimes?? Shocked ---Tum dono 2 O'Clock se baithi hai yahaan aur abhi 9.45 ho gayi raat ka!-------------------Day mein pigeons aur crows potty kiya mera oopar Dead----------------abhi Mosquitos bite kar rahi hai-------------Consideration My big left foot ---------------------I am going inside! Angry 

Mandana jerks up like someone devil possessed and such is the brute force of her jump, that stocky Keith still gets pulled up and roughly gets dragged muttering a painful growl of "Aaa-aaarghhh-ouchhh) Cry

Silky white hazy figures are shown sleeping in dim lights and only sound is steam engine snores of Arvind Vegda!

BIGG BOSS VOCE OVER: Yahaan Arvind apne bhayanak kharrate le rahe hain, but pichhle 2 hafton ke baad, -------------ab ghar ke sadasyon ko in khaaraaton ki aise hi aadat pad chuki hai, jaise Neta logon ko Jhooth bolne ki aur Voters ko un pe baar baar vishwaas karne ki! Wink------------------------------------Bigg Boss ke ghar mein aaj jahaan do sadasyon mein chalti rahi poore din kheenchaa-taani Tongue------------------toh koi aisa bhi hai------------jisne Bigg Boss ko hi yaad dila di--------------Unki barson pehle mar chuki Naani (Sob) Cry--------------Jhelte Rahiye ye Manhoos Programme-----------Biggg Baaas! DeadDeadDead


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