Friday, 13 November 2015

Poultry Farm of Bigg Boss-9




Most incredibly Misha, my extremely gentle Newfoundland dog had started speaking since morning and in an amazed, thrilled, confused and happy state of mind, I had come to the park near our apartment complex and handed him over to little kids in park who play with him daily! 

I had reached North-East side of Park and again I got a surprise! Right in front of my eyes was a poultry farm! Geek

Why had I never noticed this poultry farm before? I reached the wire-mesh fencing of farm and there I saw them! Shocked

Hens and Roosters of all kinds. Small, big , white, different colourful shades!  Party

And then lightning struck me like a thunderbolt for the second time same morning!
Believe it or not they were conversing with one another.

Some in Hindi, some in English and some in Hinglish! Shocked

Was I going crazy?  I wondered aloud and got engrossed in the wonderful world of beautiful Murgis and Murgas!

One brownish shade Hen was protesting aloud! As I did not know if these hens and roosters had any names, to be able to describe what I witnessed, I will simply describe what I observed!

BROWN MURGI: Ek second!----Ek second--------------Ye koyi tareeka nayin hai!-------------Poultry farm ka waking up time 8 O'Clock hai!---Tum subah mein 4.30 baje se chilla-chilli kaaye ko kar raha hai? ----------Neend ko disturb kiya mera!
An ugly,  angry Rooster replied back.

I did not like his looks at all. As if he wasn't ugly enough, he actually had teeth! Shocked
God! Can you believe a Murga with vicious teeth flashing? When he spoke, he started speaking gently and with almost every word his pitch got hoarser, reaching Richter scale 9.5 by his last sentence!

UGLY ANGRY MURGA: Oh ho! ------Oh ho!!!---------Poultry ke maalik ko bol do Murgi Madam ki neend disturb ho gayi!----Bolo Maalik,------- hum sab yahaan sone aaye hain, sone!!!-------Koi bura manta hai toh maane------Main is farm Ke EK-EK Murgi-Murge ko------------JAGAA KE RAHOOONGAAA! Angry  



All Murga-Murgis had stunned scared expressions on their faces, but a bit away from all these, two roosters were putting up a valiant show of fight!

CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA: Abey Jaa! Murga hai tu

DADHIYAL (Bearded) MURGA-Stunned: Kya bola be? Shocked

CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA: Murga hai tu!

DADHIYAL MURGA  (regaining bit of balance): Tu hai Murga 



CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA (Reaching beak kissing distance): Murga hai tu!

DADHIYAL MURGA: Tu hai Murga

CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA: Murga hai tu

DADHIYAL MURGA:Abey hutt Naqli---Bad breath-Bad breath---peechhe hatt!

CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA: Teri badi khusboo aa rahi hai---Murga hai tu!

DADHIYAL MURGA: Chal be Naqli

Along with me lot of curious bystanders had arrived by now and there was a sizeable crowd around me watching this spectacle of two Murgas on the verge of ripping each other apart!

DADHIYAL MURGA: Jo mann mein aayega karoonga---Jaa be Naqli!

CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA: Murga hai tu---Chal kar----

DADHIYAL MURGA: Karoonga---Karoonga----------jaa be naqli!
CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA: KAR---KAR-KAR-------KAR- KAR---KAR-KAR-----KAR!

Some fools around me started betting which Murga will win this fight. Half a dozen Punjabis around me started betting 100$ each on Clean Shaven Murga ripping apart the bearded Dadhiyal one in no more than next three minutes.

Suddenly both Murgas started smiling, turned their asses on all of us, hugged each other and like Jai-Veeru of Sholay, went the other way humming "Ye Dosti, Hum Nahin, Chhodenge---Chhodenge"Dum Magar---Tera Saath naa Chhodenge!" 



Thoroughly embarrased, all of us spectators felt like fools and I sheepishly slipped away to my left where one Rooster-Hen pair was lovingly cuddling and pecking each other. 



I immediately recognized it was same Murgi who had been scolded early in morning by the Ugly Angry Murga with vicious sharp teeth!

I noticed a white Murgi was looking at this visibly in-love pair of Murga-Murgi, with scornful looks on her face

WHITE MURGI: Aapka girlfriend Moorgi ka damaag sayi nayin hei!----Aap apna damaag lagaati nayin hein-----aur uska harek signal pe---booddoo ka jaise poonch heela-heela ke haan kar deti hai----Aapka girlfriend moorgi----



Early morning SAB KO JAGA KE RAHOOONGAAA jhaad and now this onslaught of White Murgi----- was enough to transform looks of girlfriend Murgi in to a completely Lutey-Pitey looks!Confused

LUTI-PITI MURGI: Hello ek second----Mein sirf apna Moorka ka girlfriend Moorki neyin hoon----And he is not just my boyfriend Moorka-----Hello-----naam hai hum dono ki----Confused

WHITE MURGI (Turned around and walked away royally murmuring): This conversation is over for me---OVER! Approve

Luti Piti Murgi started sobbing uncontrollably! Cry
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I moved to other side of the poultry farm and I noticed it was the poultry feed area and many Murga Murgis were huddled together around the feed area.
One of the Murgis in group, resembled more like a Gray Partridge or TEETAR as we call in Hindi. She would roll her head every few split seconds with a jerk and come up with extremely shrewd expressions non-stop. Clean shaven Murga was some distance away and a bald Murga was roaming around nearby.

TEETAR TYPE MURGI: Wo dekho Dadhiyal Murga aa raha hai is taraf! Evil Smile

CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA: Aaj jaan se maar doonga is dadhiyal ko----ab aayega maza game ka!

TEETAR TYPE MURGI: Rehne de! -Tere bharose rahe toh ho gaya beda paar!----Wait------------Aaak Thhooo-----Aaak Thhooo---Aak Thhhooo!----Ab khaane do is dadhiyal ko ye feed!Evil Smile  



The group of Murga Murgis giggled and not just a few of them, but surprisingly, the bald Murga too spat on the chicken feed! Shocked

Within no time Dadhiyal Murga reached the feed area, all smiled at him and unaware of their ghastly deed, he plucked out bit by bit and ate the spit laced chicken feed, to his heart's content!

Amazed at what all I had witnessed at Poultry farm, I returned where kids, Masha, Dennis, Christina and Oleg were playing with my dog Misha and were excitedly shrieking in amazement even as Misha was patiently replying to all their kid questions like a mature Baba Ji! 

Misha himself said to me,"Sir, lets go home now! Can you please help me with my breakfast Sir?...OK bye children, I love you all-----------see you tomorrow". Me and my Misha, conversing like closest buddies that we are, came home vert excited!

Next few days passed off, as if in a few blinks! It was Saturday night and my evening walk with Misha took us to poultry farm yet again!

To say that what I saw simply left me stunned, would be understatement of the year!

I swear I had never imagined a little Murga could be as strong as the one I saw that evening! Shocked

Stockily built, extremely good looking and blessed with muscles from top to toe, this brute of a Murga was outside the farm but with his head firmly inside the poultry farm, through one of the windows! He was terrorizing the inmates of poultry farm, and his expressions and words were alternating between disarming smiles, charming little jokes and insulting mocks and scorns!-----Real Dabangg Murga I would say!Thumbs Up  



DABANGG MURGA: Swaagat naheen karoge be humaara? Approve----Kya nautanki laga rakhi hai be? Clean shaven Murge? Daadhi waale murge?"Ladna naheen thha toh nautanki kyun ki?"Ab dost kyun ho be tum dono? Angry

CLEAN SHAVEN MURGA: Sir, Dadhiyal ji dil ke bure naheen hai---Maine realize kar liya thha ye----isliye inko support bhi kiya baad mein---but koi Murgi pataane ka ya Chaara ikatthha karne ka task aata hai toh main doonga in ko competition! ---Aap ek naya murga dekhenge mujh mein! Star

DADHIYAL MURGA: Sir jab main aaya thha toh kaha thha maine ki main Bura hoon----but wo isliye ki ye sab Saas-Bahoo game khel rahe thhe. ------Mujhe inmein jaan daalni thhi, bas Sir. Bura naheen hoon main! Confused

DABANGG MURGA: Dadhiyal tere khaane mein is Teetar Murgi ne thhooka---kuchh kehna hai tujhe?

DADHIYAL MURGA (Holding his throat starts coughing uncontrollably): Khon-Khon-Khon-Khon-----Khaaun-Khaaun----Tabhi main kahoon---Khon-Khon-khon-khon----------Khaansi kyun----Khaun-khaun---ho rahi hai 2 din se? -----Khon-Khon-Khon-Khon! 



WHITE MURGI: Daadhi waala Moorgaa---Daadhi waala Moorgaa----------Take some Glycodin----nehin toh Corex cough syrup lo-----neglect karegi toh Tuberculosis bhi ho sakti hai-------tum mar bhi sakti hai and don't be dumb! --------Criminals ko punishment-------meelni hi chaahiye-----Evil Smile 



DABANGG MURGA: Ganje Murge! Naughty Boy!---Teetar Murgi ne thhooka toh tumne bhi thhook diya? Wink

BALD MURGA: Naheen Sir. Main har cheez logic ko dhyaan mein rakh ke karta hoon. Maine naheen thhooka Sir. ------Sirf thhookne ki ACTING ki ACTING!Embarrassed

DABANGG MURGA: Ye sahi baat hai! -----------Ganje Murge ne NAHEEN THHOOKA! --------------------------------O ------daanton waale Murge!---Angry---------Kyun is chhoti bacchi murgi ko taandav-taandav bol ke dara raha thha tu?---Aur kis bade Murge ko jaanta hai be tu?---You look like a complete fool when you say stuff like that! Angry------Koi is chhoti Murgi ko kuchh samjhaana chaahega?

WHITE MURGI: Mein is Chhota Moorgi ko bolna chaahte hain------ki ye bahut chhota moorgi hai---influence ho jaata hain! ----Abhi zaroori hai ki ye firm stand lena seekhna hai---------aisa booddoo ka maafik udenga,----- toh apna beak ke oopar girenga----beak-khopda sab phoot jaayenga is ka---meine isko bolna hai---ki ye chhota moorgi hai-----oorne waala cheeriya neyin hai ye-----haan!



Suddenly I noticed a giggling Murgi outside the poultry farm. Remarkable thing was she had lipstick on her beak and nailpolish on her well manicured nails! She was giggling and yet, had tears flowing from her eyes!Tongue

GIGGLING MURGI: Hehehe!---Sir---Mujhe aapne baahar kyun nikaala? Hehehe!LOL---I smiled every two minutes-----ek naheen do -do Murge pyaar mein paagal hue mere liye---Ye Dadhiyal Murga  bhi aur ye Buddhu Murga bhi----kyun  nikaala Sir?---can I come back please? EmbarrassedLOL  



DABANGG MURGA (Angrily): Dafa ho jaao yahaan se! Angry----Ek baar maine commitment kar di, toh us ke baad toh main apne aap ki bhi naheen suntaa----aur meri is baar ki commitment, is Safed Murgi ke liye hai! Angry

Suddenly I heard  screams of AAG-AAG bachao-bachao---FIRE-FIRE---somebody help!---My leg got entangled in the poultry farm wire-mesh boundary and I was trying my best to get out of the trap, but experiencing repeated forceful tugs and pulls on my left feet!

Within a fraction of second the siren and bells of Fire brigade wagons could be heard and as if by sheer magic, the fire brigade siren got transformed into beautiful, melodious 3rd symphony of Beethoven, my daily morning alarm!

Sweating profusely I opened my eyes! Beethoven on my surround sound system had been trying to wake me up in vain for almost 6 minutes by now. 

In panic I looked at my left feet and found it in mouth of massive Misha who delivered yet another forceful pull on my feet! 

My eyes met his gorgeously expressive honey-hessonite shade eyes!

A very clear message was stamped all over his face," Its 6.40 almost you lazy bum-------------come out of your Murga-Murgi dreams boss----------lets go out immediately or else, I am doing susu on the carpet---RIGHT NOW!"Angry 

1 comment:

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