Monday, 6 October 2014

Bigg Boss-8 aur Karishma Tanna ka Murari Banna (Fun Take) :)

The extremely tall Karishma Tanna is anxiously pacing up and down by roadside!
Murari Banna, her much shorter boyfriend, comes up from behind, makes a herculean effort to jump up in air two feet high and closes her eyes shut with both his palms, both his feet hanging up in air now! Day Dreaming

MURARI BANNA (in a huffed & puffed voice):Tanna main aa gaya-----Baby Main aaa gaya! Main aaa gaya!! Tongue

KARISHMA TANNA (Emitting Nitric acid fumes):  Angry Huttt! Utro neeche---Utro!-----(Makes a face & mimics Murari)---"Hunhhh Main aa gaya Tanna!"---------Toh kya naachoon? ----Party doon? Angry

In panic, Murari Banna releases his hands & falls down on ground with a thud! Wacko Gets up with sheepish expressions on face, dusting his trousers and shirt! Ermm

MURARI BANNA (romantically):  Heart Tanna Darling! Kya tum mere saath gym chalogi Baby ? Hug
.
KARISHMA TANNA (Angrily stares into Banna's eyes):BANNAAA! Tum kehna kya chahte ho? Main moti hogayi hoon ? Haan? You mean to say I have put on weight Banna? Evil SmileEvil Smile

MURARI BANNA (Panic stricken voice): Confused  Arey Tanna? Maine aisa kab kaha?---- OK koi baat naheen! Mat chalo. Confused


KARISHMA TANNA (Sulphuric acid too starts oozing out of her eyes now, mixed with Nitric  acid fumes): Banna, you want to say I am lazy?---- Aalsi hoon main?---Tum keh rahe ho main aalsi hoon, isliye gym naheen jaana chaahti main? Hain? BOLO!!!! Angry

MURARI BANNA (Kaato toh khoon naheen state): Ufff! Gussa kyun ho rahi ho Tanna Jaanu? Shocked

KARISHMA TANNA (Screaming now): BANNNAAA! Hold your tongue! Tumhara matlab kya hai? Ki ------Tanna hamesha jhagarti rehti hai? -------JHAGRAALOO HOON MAIN? AngryEvil Smile

MURARI BANNA(Weak, disembodied voice now):  Tanna maine aisa toh kabhi naheen bola Jaanu! Unhappy


KARISHMA TANNA (Goes hyper screaming): Banna tum ye keh rahe ho ki main jhoot bolti hoon? Jhooti hoon main? Haan??. AngryAngryAngry
MURARI BANNA (throws in the towel now):  D'ohOK Baba----------Rehne do! Main akeyla hi chala jaata hoon Tanna!

KARISHMA TANNA (Screaming like Bilawal Bhutto claiming full Kashmir now): Dead Bannnaaa! Acchhi tarah se jaanti hoon main kyun akele jaana chaahte ho gym! ---------Us Serbian ladki Natasha pe dore daalne hain? -------Ya Sukeerti ki flirting ka intezaar hai?--------------Diandra toh zaroor aayegi chhoti si bikini pehan ke bagal waali tread mill pe! -----------------------Banna itni bewakoof naheen hoon main, jitna samajhte ho tum mujhe. Samjhe? DeadDead

MURARI BANNA (Can't help cursing under his breath): Bloody F** B****!!!! Ouch

KARISHMA TANNA (Transforms into a Chot Khaayi Naagin now): Evil Smile Bannnaaa! You wretched dog!-------------- You are disqualified! Disqualified from my life for good!---------- Get lost you dumb ass! -------------Tumne mujhe gaali di? NATIONAL HIGHWAY PE GAALI DI TUMNE? You @#$%^&^***!-------------- Khoon pee jaungi main tera Banna!!! AngryAngry


Murari Banna collapses and has to be rushed to Jaslok Hospital Mumbai's ICU for revival!





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Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Bigg Boss Ne Jo Nahin Dikhaya- Papa-Beti-Bhaiyya Episode!

OK...so I finally watched one full episode of Bigg Boss (September 29th one...not bad I would say! Promising characters)...LOL
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FUNOPSIS OF BIGG BOSS EPISODE (September 29, 2014)

The EDITED OUT-UNSHOWN BITS:

DAY 8.00 (Subah 8 A.M)

Disheveled looking, broken-aero plane inmates, wake up to Jeene Ke Hain Chaar Din!Dancing
In earlier seasons, every year, Bigg Boss team used to rope in a solitary Mehak Chahal, Sana Khan or Gauhar Khan to be ready with red lipstick and mascara in place & hog the cam attention at 8 A.M.

This year, in a bold switch, it has hired many glam-dolls-----Diandra, Soni, Karishma, Sukeerti, Natasha -------------All up and ready by 7.15 AM & anxiously waiting to rush in with their 8 A.M. jigs. Dancing

But none of these girls can hold a candle to this vigorous hip-matkoo Sushant and no wonder, he is off the blocks first, executing a vulgar dance in his outrageously purple outfit and peculiar kacchha!Dead

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DAY 8.00 (Subah 9.30 A.M)

Bigg Boss-8 contestants get first glimpse of Bigg Boss House and ...

BIGG BOSS (Voice Over):Bigg Boss ke pratidvandhoyon ko aaj Bigg Boss ke ghar ki pehli jhalak dikhaayi gayi hai------ aur in sabke munh pe kuchh is tarah ke haav-bhaav dikhaayi de rahe hain, jaise aksar Bhikariyon ke munh par dikhayi dete hain Confused-------- jab wo kisi Mithayi ki dukaan ke sheeshon ke andar rakhe gulaab jaamun aur rasgullon ko lalchaayi hui aankho se nihaarte hain!Tongue -------------------Soni Singh Danny Boyle ki "Slum Dog Millionnaire" ki ada-kaara lag rahi hain aur Gautam-Aarya, kisi Sharnarthi shivir ke majboor, beybas nivaasi!


DAY 8.00 (Subah 11.30 Baje)

Some of the housemates are sitting on the lawns and casually chit-chatting.

UPEN PATEL (In his Shoaib Akhtar+Sangakkara accent):  U no, U no, mein tab Skul mein baachha thha, jab wo tichar ne bola, abi toom---abi toom baacha nayin hai-----nayin hai toom baachha----bara ho gaye hain---bara ho gaye hain!!

DIANDRA (Unleashes her Hyena laugh):Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!------------- Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!ROFL

Poor Sushant, who is sitting next to them but dreamily staring at muscles of Hulk Hogan like Puneet Issar sitting some distance away, gets really rattled by this shrieking-scary laughter of Diandra and springs up startled and scared!Geek

SUSHANT: Ouch Ouchhh! ------Uyi Maa!----You scared the hell out of me! ----------Aisa hansne se pehle worn karna chaahiye naa? -------------Worn karna chaahiye naa chudail ka jaisa hansne se pehle? Confused

DIANDRA: Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!--------------- Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!---------------Ab main hansne se pehle tujhe bolun kya?---Ki----O---- Hello Sushant---Main hansna chaahti hoon?Wink --- Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!-- Aaan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan-Haan!ROFL

SUSHANT (Gets up with a jerk, swats a non-existent fly with his left palm, rolls up his eyes upwards and says):  Dead How disgusting!---Hansti raho,------ I am off from here. Jaa rahi-------------Jaa raha hoon main!----Hunhhh (Zig-zags away from there, as he is incapable of walking straight, literally)! Angry
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DAY 8.00 (Dopahar 3.30 Baje)

BIGG BOSS (Voice over): Yahaan Bigg Boss ke diye hue kaarya ke dauraan, Gautam Gulati aur Karishma Tanna ke beech ghamaasaan yudhh ho chukka hai aura dono, Puneet Issar ke aage, apna-apna paksh rakh rahe hain!

KARISHMA (Sobbing):  Cry Aap mere papa ke jaise hain, aur is Gulati ne aapki Beti ko gaali di, aur aap chup-chaap sunte rahe? (Sob----sob----sniff-----sob-sob)!

PUNEET ISSAR (Clearly taken aback!):Shocked Papa? Kiska papa?-----Kaisa Papa??-----Kaun Papa?? ----Kaun?? Main kya? Disapprove

KARISHMA (barely audible-hisses under her breath): Dead Aur kaun be takloo? Tu ofcourse....(& then loudly)---Ofcourse aap Puneet Papa---Aap mere Papa jaise hain-------'Is ghar mein aap mere Papa hi hain-----Cry-----Bwaaa-haaa----Bwaaa-haaa!Cry

PUNEET ISSSAR (Breaks down crying):Cry Booo-hooo-----Booo-hooo------Beti Karishma! Give papa a hug Beta-------Booo-hooo!Cry

Karishma reluctantly hugs Puneet & immediately reminds him the hug offered is to ensure Papa Issar kills Gulati!Evil Smile

PUNEET ISSAR (tears streaming down his face): Cry Gautam----Gautam----you are like my younger brother---booo---hooo----booo-hooo---Cry---but ye agar Bigg Boss ka ghar naheen hota----booo---hooo----had it not been Bigg Boss House, ---I swear I would have killed you----booo---hooo! Booo-hooo!CryCry


GAUTAM GULATI: Puneet Bhaiyaa Confused-------Maine galti ki----Bwaaa-haaa! Bwaaa-Haaa! Cry (Sob-Sob)----Karishma Behan---maine galti ki-----Bwaaa-haaa! -----(Pauses & asks in a startled voice Shocked)----But Puneet Bhaiyya, agar aap kisi aur jagah mujhe jaan se maar dete-----toh phir yahaan kyun naheen? Why can't you kill me here Bhaiyya?ApproveShocked

KARISHMA (latches on): Evil Smile Haan Papa! Yaheen pe maaro!----- Maaro is dusht ko! Evil Smile--
----- Isne aapki Beti ko National TV pe gaali di hai...-------------NATIONAL TELEVISION PE PAPA------(hisses under breath inaudibly)----MAAR TAKLOO---MAAR!Angry

PUNEET ISSAR (Sheepishly): BlushingWo Mahabharat se kamaaye paise bahut pehle khatam ho gaye Beti.Blushing --------------Home loan ki kishtein chukaani hain-----------Aur tumhari mummy Kaanjivaram saari, Gold Necklace aur Hyundai i20 ki bhi zid kar rahi hai----------------Bigg Boss ka weekly payment, 3.50 laakh har hafte---bahut zaroori hai Papa ke liye Beti----------Booo-Hooo---Booo-hooo!Cry

GAUTAM: Mujhe maaf kar do Behna! Cry-------Bwaaa---haaa! ---Bhaiyaa Maaf kar do! Hooo-Hooo! Cry

In front of hysterically weeping Papa, a visibly unsure Beti hugs totally confused Aatma Bhaiyya and it seems all is well now!Clap


Suddenly Karishma realises she didn't really gain much out of all this. Angry
She realises these foolish Papa-Bhaiyya are just worth nothing in comparison to what she can gain------- if she------------AND----

KARISHMA (breaks free from Gulati Bhaiyya and Hisses like a Chot Khaayi Hui Naagin): ------Evil SmileNaheee-eeen! Agar Papa tumhein jaan se nahin maar sakte,------- toh mujhe tumhara disqualification chaahiye---DISQUALIFICATION----nothing less than that!-------------------------I want his disqualification Bigg Boss!! Evil Smile 

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