Dussehra Special-UNDEKHA ACTION- Big Boss Ke Ghar Ki Ramayan!

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BIG BOSS (VOICE OVER): Dussehre ke uplakhsya mein, Big Boss ne sabhi ghar waalon ko Raam-Lila manchit karne ka kaarya diya hai, -------aur sabhi ghar waale, manch par Raam-Lila ke paatra bane hue hain aur Ram Lila ke alag-alag drishya, darshaa rahe hain!  


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SCENE-1:

RAM (SHILPA): Haa Seetay! ---Tu kahaan chali gayi Praan-Pyaari? ---------Tere viyog mein mera hriday phata jaata hai---kaleja mera, mukh ko aata hai! -----------Hey Janak Dulaari-Praano se pyaari, -----kahaan hai, tu, kis haal mein hai? Seetay!

KAALA LAXMAN (KUSHAL-Stammers): Bb-bhaiyya, mmistake toh meri hai. -Wo main aapko bbb-bachane ke chakkar mein JJ-jungle chala ggaya"Bb-bhabhi ji ko akela chhod ke. ------But I will correct my mistake. -----Hum Ssi-Sita Bbbabhi ko dh-dhoondhte hain  bhaiyya!

Meanwhile up above in Skies, inside the flying Pushpak Vimaan:

SITA (APURVA): Main kehti hoon chhod de mujhe paapi, Adharmi Raavan! ---Chhod de mujhe warna Mere Shri Raam Aayenge aur tera sarvnaash kar denge moorkh!

RAAVAN (ARMAAN): Chuppp! Chuppp! 1 ghante se bak-bak, bak-bak kar rahi hai! ----Kaan paka diye hain tune mere. Chuppp! ---Jab tere kale Kauvve Jaise Devar, us Laxman Kushal ne meri Behan, Shoorpanakha Kamya ki Naak kaati thhi, us waqt kahaan gayi thhi teri dharm ki pukaar?---Ab chup chaap mere saath chal, --Dashaanan Raavan, jiske aage Devta bhi thhar-thhar kaanpte hain, ------tere saundarya ka samman karega, -------tujhe apni Patt-Rani banayega!---Apna shesh jeevan, apne banwaasi pati aur Kauvve Devar ke saath waste karne ki bajaaye, Lanka ki Rani ban kar aish karna tu!"Ab chuppp!
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 SCENE-2:

Ram (Shilpa) and Kaala Laxman (Kushal), by now know Raavan Armaan has abducted Sita Apurva and have already befriended Hanuman Sangram and Sugriv Andy.

DOUBLE DHOLKI HANUMAN (SANGRAM): O Ji Raam Chandar Ji, aapko toh dekhte hi pyaar karne lagga thha ji main appni Jaan se bhi jaadda! ----Fikar not Siri Raam Ji, aapki kirpaa rahi toh very very soon Sitta Maa phir se aapke saath hongi Ji.

RAM (SHILPA): Laxman! Agar meri Sita ko kuchh bhi hua naa, ----toh By God Munh tod doonga main us Raavan Armaan Ka, kasam se munh tod doonga!



SUGRIV (ANDY): Hawww, Hanuman Sangram Ji, ---------------kuchh bhi ho jaaye, aapko Shri Shilpa Ram ki madad karni hai, karni hai, karni hi hai! --------You get it? Cool---lets move man! Awww!
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SCENE-3 (INSIDE LANKA):

BIG BOSS (VOICE OVER): Yahaan Raavan Armaan apni patni, Mandodari Tanisha ke saath apne shayan-kaksh mein pareshaan se dikh rahe hain aur Mandodari Tanisha unhein samjhaane ki koshish kar rahi hain!



MANDODARI (TANISHA):  -Ufff! Kyun utha laaye is Mohawk hair cut waali Sita ko? ---ye toh Adharm hai Swami...

RAAVAN (ARMAAN): Aap meri Jagat-Mata ban-ne ki koshish naa karein. You get that?-----------Naheen chaahiye mujhe koi Jagat-Mata----

MANDODARI (TANISHA): Not even trying Raavan Armaan Ji----

RAAVAN (ARMAAN): Main ye Ramayan, apne hisaab se khelunga!  Aayi baat samajh mein? -Aayi samajh mein?----------------Kal Janak-suta Sita se Vivaah karunga, -------parson uske Pati aur Devar ko kas-kas ke laafe maarunga! ------Koi mujhe rokne ki koshish naa kare. Samjhi aap?

MANDODARI (TANISHA): Aap Sita se Vivaah keejiye, ------Ram-Laxman se ladaayi keejiye, sab chalega. Infact, main sabko bol doongi aapka view block ho gaya thha, -------aapko kuchh dikhaayi naheen diya! Bas ek baat maan leejiye meri...ye chaar andon ka omelette bana ke laayi hoon. Iska breakfast kar leejiye aur please KISI KO GAALI MAT DENA AAP. Please gaali naheen dena!

RAAVAN (ARMAAN-expressions turn romantic): Naheen doonga. Bholenaath ki kasam, naheen doonga gaali! ----Pakka Promise. Suniye---aap---aap bhi khaana khaa leejiye. Please-----request kar raha hoon aapse!
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SCENE 4:

(BACK IN AYODHYA)

URMILA (GAUHAR-Sad): This is not fair Big Boss. -----Its so mean haan? ----Ram ke saath Sita gayi, why was I not allowed to go with my Kaala Laxman haan? ---Ye toh unfair hai naa?-----I am not complaining, but Kaala Laxman meri amaanat hai,----------- Sirf Meri hi amaanat mein khayaanat kyun ki gayi Big Boss?...Kitne udaas thhe us din hum dono-----jab woh mujhe chhod gaye Ayodhya mein----aur khud chale gaye Jangalon ki khaak chhaan-ne Big Boss----  



DAASI (PRATYUSHA): Haan Big Boss. Mera bhi yahi sochna hai. Ki jo kuchh Urmila Ji keh rahi hain, wo sahi baat hai!

URMILA (GAUHAR): Script thoda change karo naa Big Boss. --------Please mujhe confession room mein bulaayiye naa!----Script change naheen kar sakte?  Sad!-----Daasi Pratyusha, ek Pizza order kar deejiye humaare liye, Halal Chicken-Halal Pineapple toppings with Halal black olive and Halal extra cheese please!----Haaye! Mere Kaale Laxman naa jaane kis haal mein honge ---kand-mool khaa-khaa ke sookh ke kaantaa naa ho gaye hon Big Boss!----(Starts laughing hysterically)" hahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha! Ooops---hansee control nahi ho rahi---ooops---hahahahaha hahaha-sorry-sorry-hahahahahaha   


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BATTLEGROUND SCENE :

RAM(SHILPA-rotating eyes all around): Ufff! Kaise marega ye Raavan Big Boss? ---Aadhi se jyaada Sena khatam ho gayi hai humaari, ----Ye toh Maayavi Yudh kar raha hai. This is not fair Big Boss. Kkkonsttantly humle kar raha hai adrishya hokar-----carton Box ke andar se---kkkonstttantttly!

Vibheeshan (Asif) who a few days ago used to call Raavan (Armaan) his dear brother, has deserted his brother and joined Ram (Shilpa's) camp and he comes to the rescue of Team Ram!

VIBHEESHAN (ASIF): Obhi hom toomko aikk raaj ka baat botaayega---top sea-krate---ek-dom top sea-krate! ---------------Wu Saala Ormaani Raaban ka stomaach ka bheetor, ek thho ghoda hai!

DOUBLE DHLKI HANUMAAN (SANGRAM): O teri. Pet ke andar ghoda? Horse Vibheeshan Ji?

VIBHEESHAN (ASIF): Raam Chondro Ji, job hom bolta hai, toh is mondo muddhi ko bolo opna mookh bondo raakhega!---Faaltu ka disturbance! Saala!----------------Hom bol raha thha, Raabon ka stomach ka bheetor ek thho Ghoda hai..Ghoda maane Bhessel-Bhessel.----Borton yaar!--------- Uska aandar, Omrit hai---Omrit maane ellikcir of laaif!-----Us Omrit vaala ghoda mein ek thho Baan dhuka deejiye----shoot an arrow intoo Rabhon's taammy!---------Raabon mor jaayega, ----------aapko Seeta Maa Meel jaayega, ---------homko Sri-Laanka ka raaj-paat meel jaayega!-----Ranatunga- Laasith Molinga-Kumaar Songakkara ko hom bhoga dega aur Kolaambo ka Raja bon jaayega!  



Ram (Shilpa) hugs Vibheeshan (Asif) in a thanks giving gesture, takes out an arrow, recites a Mantra and shoots it at Raavan (Armaan's) tummy!

RAAVAN (ARMAAN): Hahahahaha! Mujhe maarne chala thha tu Banwaasi Raam!----Apni aukaat dekh, apna level dekh phir soch kiske saath panga liya hai tune!

KAALA LAXMAN (KUSHAL): Yye-Ye toh Chh-cheating hai! ---Aapko marna padega.  Sc-script mein hai yaar!

ARMAAN (RAAVAN): Bhaad mein jaaye tu Kauvve, (BEEP)---- aur bhaad mein jaaye teri script (BEEP) ---Suna? KYA? KYA? Munh ko band kar naheen toh ek laafa maarunga, chhatpata ke girega!  



SHOORPANAKHA (KAMYA):  Raavan Bhaiyya, ye galat hai! -----Aapko marna hi hoga!"Gaali mat deejiye"

ARMAAN (RAAVAN): Tu beech mein kyun bol rahi hai? -Duniya ki sabse badi double dholki---

SHOORPANAKHA (KAMYA): Tameez se baat keejiye---

ARMAAN (RAAVAN): Arey hatt---

SHOORPANAKHA (KAMYA):  Tu hatt! Cheap cheat---duniya dekh rahi hai aapki asliyat---
ARMAAN (RAAVAN): Arey jaa, teri asliyat dekh rahi hai duniya----Kati hui naak waali Divorcee----

Shoorpanakha Kamya retreats from the scene crying aloud-whooo-whooo!

SUGRIV (ANDY): Kya hua Shoorpanakha behan?

SHOORPANAKHA (KAMYA): Whooo-! Whooo! Sob-sob-sob! Ek toh is Kaale Laxman ne Naak kaat li thhi meri, ab wo, jisko main apna Bhai kehti thhi, mujhe Divorcee bol raha hai. Whooo-whooo!

SUGRIV (ANDY): Awww! Give Sungriv uncle a hug Shoorpanakha Ji. Ganda hai wo---he is dead for us! Awww, that feels nice!

KAALA LAXMAN (KUSHAL): Ss-sorry Shh-Shoorpanakha Ji----Jab nn-naak kaati thhi, aap humaari tt-team mein nn-naheen thhi!"Sorry haan?
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NIGHT TIME SHOT

Hazy figures are sleeping around in silvery-white bedsheets and blankets.

BIG BOSS (VOICE OVER): Big Boss ke ghar ke ghar mein, aaj Ramayan ban gayi Mahabharat! Raavan ne naa sirf kar diya marne se inkaar, balki Sita aur Mandodari ke saath, basa liya hai Apna Sukhi Sansaar! ----Shoorpanakha aur Vibheeshan ne chhod diya hai Raavan ka Saath ----------aur Mila liya hai Raam aur Kaale Laxman se haath!---------Aane waale dino mein hi hoga saaf, kaun karta hai kisko Maaf -----aur kaun karta hai kisko Saaf!

Jhelte Rahiye Ye Manhoos Programme! -"Big Baas!