Tuesday 18 December 2012

A late night call to Salman khan? Was it Aishwarya??

***********************************************************************************************************Please imagine the caller as drunk, eyes rolled upwards, smiling as he speaks! Tongue
Misspells in Caller's dialogues are to highlight his pronounciation skills!LOL
****************************************************************
Night time 02.15 A.M. 

Drunk Salman has been barely sleeping for some 20 minutes and just beginning to snore.
His Mobile comes to life, huge shriek of ring tone, in the dead of night, "Teri Meri Prem Kahaani Mushqil Hai---Do Lafzo Mein Ye Bayaan Naa Ho Paaye!-----" Ouch  

Quite a few times Salman pushes the phone under the Pillow, tries shutting off his ears with two index fingers, does 2-3 MC / BCs, but to no avail. It is as if Raahat Fateh Ali Khan has taken an oath to ruin his sleep tonight!Star

Unable to bear the torture, Salman picks up the phone when it rings 7th time!

SALMAN (Drunk Voice): AngryKaun hai be Kameene? Nikloon kya Tere phone ke andar se? Doon kya? Doon kya kaan ke neeche??Angry

SANJAY DUTT (Clearly, lot more drunk than Sallu): Aaa! Aaa! --------Its meee Sallu! Aye Sallu----Zubaan ko ganda naheen karte! Tu So gaya kya thha kya?Shocked

SALMAN (Still Sounding angry but controlling himself): Oh! F&*^! Aap ho Sanju BABA?Ouch

SANJAY DUTT: Big smileHey-Hey-Hey! Naheen, Sanju BABA naheen hoon, Main BABA Ram Dev hoon! Anoolom-Veeelom seekhta hai kya? Hain? Hey-hey-hey-hey!

SALMAN (Dead sleepy voice): Kya yaar Baba? Poori utaar di aapne. Kyun phone kar rahe ho raat ko 3 baje Baba?Confused

SANJAY DUTT (Drunk's full of love voice): Arey Sallu, Tu Bhaai hai Mera. BHAAI! Jab mann chaahe, tere ko phone laga sakta hoon main, Laga sakta hoon ki naheen? BOL? BOL? Abey So gaya kya??  TU SO GAYA KYA SALMAN? ABEY BOL NAA?Shocked

SALMAN (Resigned Sigh-stammers): Hain? ---Haan-------- Mmm-----Laga sakte ho Baba. Aap toh kisi ki bhi laga sakte ho! Bolo Baba?

SANJAY DUTT (Hesitates): Embarrassed Accha Sun. Mere ko ek solllid----doubt aaya hai! -----------Bole toh, Is baar Big Boss se phone naheen aaya yaar mujhko. ShockedKoi khaas baat hai kya? Aye Bol naa!!!

SALMAN: Maloom naheen Baba!Confused

SANJAY DUTT: Arey kaise maloom naheen? Poochh naa yaar Big Boss se? Dono Bhaai logon ne kitna mast dhamaal kiya thha naa Big Boss-5 mein peeechhle saal? Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey!---------Five-Five! Five-Five! Five-Five!  Hain? ABEY SO GAYA KYA? TU SO GAYA KYA  SALLU?Shocked

SALMAN: Naheen Baba, sun raha hoon. Maloom naheen Sanju Baba!

SANJAY DUTT: Arey kya maloom naheen? (Pause)---Sallu, Aye Sallu---

SALMAN: ooon?Confused

SANJAY DUTT: Ye Bakri ki tarah ooon-aaan mat kar. Tu mere se baat kar abhi. Naheen-----------Sallu-----Tu Big Boss se mere bare mein baat kar na------------apne bade bhaai ke bare mein baat kar naa yaar?Wink

SALMAN: Hmmm! Kal karta hoon Baba!Cry

SANJAY DUTT (Hesistates): DisapproveNaheen, aise Daairektly mat karna baat. Cheap lagega, naheen? Tu ek kaam karna. Big Boss paas mein ho, toh gaana--- zor se gaane ka-----Tumse Meelne Ko Deel Karta Hai Re BABA, Tumse Meelne Ko Deel Karta Hai Re BABA!-----Jeetnee baari BABA bole, zor se cheellaane ka!---Big Boss BABA word soonte hi samajh jaayega that show is missing me yaar! OuchHey-Hey-Hey-Hey!

SALMAN: Theek Hai Sanju Baba, good idea.----Abhi So jao-----good night!

SANJAY DUTT: Arrey Good Night ki Maa Ki Aaankh. Yaad hai? yaad hai? Peechhle Season mein kaise bolta thha main---------EVERY SATURDAY YAAR-------,"Joohi Jee----(SMILING PAUSE), Acchhi Lag rahi hain aap!", hey-hey-hey-hey------ I miss those days yaar!Confused

SALMAN: Hmmm

SANJAY DUTT: Hmmm KYA?? ------ Abey So gaya kya??  TU SO GAYA KYA SALMAN? ABEY BOL NAA?Angry

SALMAN (Dead Sleepy Voice): Naheen! Woh Jo aap bole naa last year, Juhi Ji acchhi lag rahi hain aap? --------------Wo logon ko pasand naheen aaya Baba. Angry-------------Sabne Twitter, Facebook, Big Boss ke SMS number pe aapko aur Big Boss ko bahut gandi-gandi gaali di Baba. --------------Bola Baba ka dimaag aur aankhein dono kharaab hain, Juhi aur acchhi? Lag hi naheen sakti kabhi! Huttt-ttt---ttt!Dead  



SANJAY DUTT (Sounding Embarrassed): Sorry Sorry Sallu. Galtee se Mishtake ho gayi Bhaai. Is baar saala main keesi ke liye naheen bolunga woh acchhi lag rahi hai!------- Tu So gaya kya??  Aye Sallu, TU SO GAYA KYA?Angry

SALMAN: Ummm. Naheen.

SANJAY DUTT (Remorseful voice): Tu Big Boss ko bol, is baar Sanju Baba Mannooo ko bhi naheen bolenge acchhi lag rahi hai tu!Confused

SALMAN (Startled voice): Mannooo?? Aap Congress ke Abhishek  Manu Singhvi ko jaante ho kya?Shocked

SANJAY DUTT (Irritated): Arey Seenghvee ki Bhains ki Aankh!Ouch Mannooo Bole toh, Mannooo-----Manyata yaar---Teri Bhabhi!---------- Ok, tu Mere baare mein baat karega na Sallu, Gode Promees?Tongue

SALMAN: God Promise Baba, Karoonga.Confused

SANJAY DUTT: Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey! I know! Being Human, you will note be Inhuman!Wink

SALMAN: Yeah I won't be! Good night!

SANJAY DUTT: Muuuaaahhh! Love you maai Younger bro! Love you! Good Night!Tongue
(BOTH DISCONNECT).

NIGHT 02.42 A.M.

It is Sallu's bed room-and ONCE AGAIN, there is a huge shriek of ghastly ringtone  in the dead of night, "Teri Meri Prem Kahaani Mushqil Hai---Do Lafzon Mein Ye Bayaan Naa Ho Paaye!-----!"  Sallu picks up the phone in irritation.

SALMAN: Ufffo Sanju Baba, bola naa baat karunga Big Boss se----

SANJAY DUTT (trying female voice): Main Sanju Baba naheen------Aishwarya bol rahi hoon SalmanEmbarrassed---hey-hey-hey-hey! I steel love you Jaan.Embarrassed Big Boss se Sanju Baba ke bare mein Baat zaroor karna haan? Ok, bye, Abhishek comingEmbarrassed'Good Night haan, bye, bye, bye, bye--muaaahhhHug!

No comments:

Post a Comment