Funopsis-October 19-KAAGAZ KE FOOLS & LOTA Episode

Funopsis-October 19-KAAGAZ KE FOOLS & LOTA Episode
 
DAY 12, 08.47 A.M.

A furious scream is heard from Bathroom area. No doubt about voice owner's identity at all!

SAMPAT (Furious Scream): Koun hai je bad-tameeez is ghar maa? Koun hai I kam-bakhat?
Birbal of House Sidhu Ji, Dillu, Dillu's Pillu, Bong Sayantani, Toing Sana, Majnoo Aseem, Pagloo Vrijesh, Lamboo Karishma, Constipated Niketan, Choosa Hua Aam,------all rush to the bathroom area and all are in KYA HUA, KAB HUA, KAISE HUA state.

SIDHU: Oye kya ho gaya Mohtarima subah-subah? ---------Cocroach ke oopar paon pad gaya, ------------koi chooha petti-coat ka naada kutar gaya ya kauvva sir ke oopar beet kar gaya? -----------Aakhir hua kya hai Pinky ji?

SAMPAT (Angry as hell): Maskhari naa karein Siddhoo bhaiyya. ------- Kauno sasur kambakhat hain ihaan, roz-roz baaathroom se botal feink det hai. Kitnaa paresaaani hoti hai roz subah-subah!

ASEEM (Nervously stammers): Sid--dhu Paa j-jji ye theek bol rahi hain. Daily main bhi apna peetal----umm-------------brass-------brass ka Lota Dustbin se utha ke laata hoon.--------------------- Daily feink deta hai koi Sir.

Soon they discover, this week, cleaning of bathrooms is being done by Lamboo Karishma, Toing Kacchha Sana and Dharamveer Skirt wearing Sapna Bhavnani.  All are summoned to living room area and a hearing takes place.



SAPNA: Maine fenka. ----Maine fenka Bottles bhi and that weird looking vessel --------that Lota bhi. Gossshhh!!! How can you guys be so unhygienic? Toilet paper use karo baba-----CHHEEE!

ASEEM (Weak squeal): Weird kisko bola? Weird kisko bola? Mere Lote ko? Khud ko dekho, sir se payr tak weird hain aap!

Delu is adoringly looking at Aseem and nodding her head in agreement. Pillu doesn't miss this look of doting affection on Dillu's face for Aseem and gently parks his tear-soaked face on Sayantani's shoulders who coils away in disgust!

SAMPAT (to Sapna): O Pooncchh kati Bandariya!  Ek baar hum Pairis (Paris) gaye rahe, unhaan Harpic se Sampooo ki jagah baal bhi dhoye rahe aur Harpic Botal se Botal ka kaam bhi chalaayi liye!------------ Magar I sab ihaan naahi chali ab. Choti pakad ke chaar chamaat dhar dayi bas---------Iski toh choti bhi naahin hai, hunhhh!

KARISHMA: Sidhu Paa Ji, we respect you all. Aap boliye naa. Itna evolution hua hai, itna man civilized hua hai. Abhi bhi Bottle mein paani? ----Paani on bums--------Chheee. Chhheee! --------Why can't she and Aseem use Toilet paper, haan?



VRIJESH HIRJEE (His typical pagloo dialogue, in which he periodically rolls eyes upwards and after each sentence, comes out with a TOKK sound with his tongue smacking against upper mouth): O hello Madam--------------Evolution-Vevolution kucchh naheen hua'TOKK!-----------------------Six million saal ki evolution----TOKK-----Bandar ban gaya aadmi----------TOKK------Phir Aadmi ne banaayi Vodka-Whiskey-Rum---------------(Rolls eyes upwards)-----------Vodka-Whiskey-Rum pee ke----TOKKK------2 ghante mein Aadmi phir se Bandar aur bhool gaya saare gham!!----TOKKK------Subah khaali Vodka ki Botal bathroom mein-----------TOKK-------Thanda-Thanda Cool-Cool paani on Bums----TOKK----Bandar phir se Insaan---------hmmm----TOKK!!

SIDHU (Hysterically laughs): O teri! Hahahahaha! 2 ghante mein----hahahahahahaha------aadmi phir se Bandar--------chhha gaya Guru, Chhha gaya------------Oye-Oye, fan ho gaya yaar main tera-hahahahaha!

SAMPAT (Angry as hell): Siddhoo Bhaiyya, kya haa-haa-hee-hee kar rahe ho?-------- Humree Botal dilao naahin toh kasam Parmeswar ki, Maar-maar ke Gulaabi kar dayin hum in Mem-Saahiban kaa---

SAPNA (Screams): Maarengi aap humko? Maarengi? ----CHALO!-----MAAR KE DIKHAO!----MAAR KE DIKKKHHHAAAO!------MAAAR KKKE  DIKKKHHHAAAOOO!
Choosa Hua Aam Kashif, Constipated Niketan  and Roly-Poly Dillu drag away Sampat to the left side------Bong Sayantani, Toing Sana, Lamboo Karishma and Pagloo Hirjee drag away Weirdo Sapna to the right side. 




Delu's Pillu Paul at first, makes use of opportunity and immediately grabs Karishma Kotak by her waist! Suddenly Pillu Paul remembers Sallu's words about his being touchy-touchy and backs away in horror! Away from all females!

ASEEM (persuasive argument): Dekhiye naa Sidhu Paa ji. Koi jitna marzee Toilet Paper ragad le, asli safaayi toh paani se hi ho sakti hai naa?

SIDHU: Ek dum durust farmaaya huzoorewaala----I agree! Asli safaayi toh paani se hi-----

URVASHI (in her Kaali Naagin Bindi, haath nacha nacha ke, aankhein ghuma ghuma ke): Aa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Kya correct farmaaya Sir? ----One takes a shower too---Potty ke baad nahaate naheen kya? Hain? Boliye?

SIDHU: Correct. Ek dum durust farmaaya Mohtari-maa Urvashi Ji ne'

URVASHI (Rolls eyes upwards and spits fire): Main sirf apne bacchon ki Maa hoon, kisi Mohtar ki Maa naheen hoon. Stick to topic Sidhu ji.Hunhhh!

VRIJESH PAGLOO HIRJEE: Arey hata-Saawan ki Ghata---------Ek baar potty jaa ke'Tokk----Tumhara kaagaz ragad ke?----------aadmi naha lega aur ho jaayega saaf!---Tokkk!-----------------Dobaara potty aayi toh? Teesri baar?---Chauthi baar??----Tokk-Tokk- Tokkk!----(Rolls eyes upwards)----------SAARA DIN AADMI NAHAATA RAHEGA KYA?----Baat karti hai!--Tokk???

SIDHU (Laughs): hahahahahaha! Point toh hai Guru!------Saara din koi kaise nahaayega oye?----- Hahahaha

KARSIHMA: Goshhh! Yuckkk!  ---------How can some one keep going for Potty again and again'Chhheee!

SANA KHAN (unconvinced looks but): Yeah! Haan-------Chhheee! Chheee!!

NIKETAN (Constipated looks): Mujhe idea naheen hai. Main toh 5-6 din mein ek hi baar Potty jaa paata hoon. How would I know?

KARISHMA: Yeah, that was the reason we separ-----------

NIKETAN (Pleading looks-sharply hisses): Karishma please!

KARISHMA: Hunhhh

SIDHU (Calls Kashif): Oye! -----oye--- be-mausam ke choose hue aam?-------- Idhar aaa---------Idhar aaa! Tu kya hai Oye?---------- Kaagaz ka Fool? ----------Ya Jal ki Nirmal Dhaara?

KASHIF: Mere ko kucchh bhi naheen chaahiye Sidhu Paa Ji. My sweat and potty are both, very hygienic. Mere ko toh dono ke bina bhi chalega!
Birbal Sidhu Ji splits the group into two, walks out of room, to kitchen area with five of them and unleashes a free sermon that Professional Baba Jis charge lots of money for!

SIDHU: Sampat Ji, Aseem, Dillu, Dillu Ke Pillu, Pagloo Vrijesh---Dil jeet liya yaar tum sabne Sardaar Sidhu ka Oye! ---------Chhaa gaye tum sab Oye!-------- Kaagaz jaisi pavitra cheez koi bums pe ragad-ta hai kya? -----------Arey Grantha likhe jaate hain kaagaz par, Prem-patra likhe jaate hain, ---------Kavitaayein likhi jaati hain, Upanyaas likhe jaate hain!------------------ Main toh kehta hoon----Insaan apni sabse khoobsoorat bhaavnaon ka izhaar karta hai kaagaz pe!--------------Bum pe kaagaz? Main kehta hoon dhikkar hai'laanat hai oye!------------- Ye Pink Bathroom tum logon ka oye!-----------Bhar do is bathroom ko Botalon se, Loton se aur zindahi ko cheh-chahaane do, khushiyon ko muskuraane do -----aur un kambakhton ko marne do doosre bathroom mein!


Then Sidhu comes back to the remaining lot and resumes:

SIDHU: Sapna Ji, Urvashi Mohtar---ooops maaf karna,----Urvashi sirf apne-bachon-ki-Maa Ji, Karishma Ji, Sayantani Ji, Toing Ji, Rondu Aurat-------- Dil jeetliya yaar tum sabne Sidhu Sardaar ka Oye! Chhaa gaye tum sab Oye!--------------------------Paani jaisi nirmal cheez koi bums pe chhidak-ta hai kya?----------------------Arey kal-kal karti Nirmal Nadiyaan------Jhar-Jhar Behte vyaakul Jharne--------Paani ko jo bum pe chhidke, uski akal gayi ghaas ko charne!------------------Bum pe paani?------ Main kehta hoon dhikkar hai'laanat hai oye!- Ye Green  Bathroom tum logon ka oye!-----------Saja do is bathroom mein rang-birange Toilet Rolls aur zindahi ko cheh-chahaane do, khushiyon ko muskuraane do-----aur un kambakhton ko marne do doosre bathroom mein!