UNDEKHA
ACTION FROM NOVEMBER 02nd
SUBAH
08.20 BAJE
Yahaan
bathroom ke paas Niketan khade hain aur peeche se Sidhu aa Jaate hain!
SIDHU:
Log subah-subah agarbatti jalaate hain, pooja-archana kharte hain, baag-bageeche
mein jaakar phoolon ki khushboo aur prakriti ka aanad uthaate hain aur tu
subah subah KACCHHE SOONGH RAHA HAI? Manhoos Insaan!----Main kehta hoon, koi maansik vikaar
se grast hai kya tu Oye?
NIKETAN
(Sheepish grin): Sidhu Sir main hamesha socks aur underwear soongh ke hi decide
karta hoon, ki teesre din chal jaayega ya naheen! Sir rare case mein, 3rd
day main change kar leta hoon underwear! Socks toh 4-5 din chal jaate hain
waise! (Constipated grin)!
SIDHU:
Badboodaar insaan, subah subah kar raha hai Sidhu Sardar ko pareshan? Oye
soonghna hi hai toh apna soongh? Mera kacchha kyun soongh raha hai oye?
NIKETAN(Taken
aback): Aapka underwear? Par ye Jockey ka white'.
SIDHU:
Oye tujhe Jockey brand nazar aaya, safed rang bhi nazar aaya, ITNA BADA, ------BJP ka
KAMAL KA PHOOL----- naheen dikha beech mein oye?
NIKETAN:
O, Sorry-Sorry Sir. Ye toh waquai mera naheen hai. Thanks Sir
****************************************************************
SUBAH
10.30 BAJE
Yahaan
Sampat subah se sabke liye naashta bana rahi hain. Naashta ban jaane ki khabar
failte hi, Delnaaz, Urvashi, Aashka aur Sana, dining table pe theek waise
pahunch gaye hain jaise jungle mein mare hue jaanwar ki laash par cheel-kauvve
pahunch jaate hain!
DELNAAZ
(Bush baby eyes pop out): Not bad yaar! ----Maine socha naheen thha Mata ji itni
safayi se naashta banaayengi!
URVASHI(Three
Chuchhoonder twitches of lips): Haan,magar chutney mein mirchi jyaada hai! Seee-----seee---aahh---!
AASHKA
(Starts crying): Bhooo-buaaahhh, Hooo!
SANA: Aye
kya hua? Kya hua? Tu ro kyun rahi hai?-------- Niketan ne phir se coffee chhupa di kya?
AASHKA
(Sobbing): Sob-sob------naheen. Achar ki bottle dekhi maine Vrijesh ke cupboard
mein. Sob-Sob-Sniff-Sniff! -------I just can't understand log dhokha kyun dete hain!
URVASHI:
Arey Sampat Ji, aap bhi khaa leejiye ab please.----------- Khud daal leejiye 2 paraanthe apni
plate mein aur baad mein sabki plates bhi dho deejiyega please----seee--seee----Mirchi---haaye---
SAMPAT
(Sulky face): Maine naa khaani hai je paap ki kamaayi. -------Tum khaao, hum bas--khilaayenge!
-----Khaayenge naheen! Aur agar is hafte jaana pade, toh bahut khusi-khusi jaayenge--------haan!
DELNAAZ
gets up and tries holding hands of Sampat who jerks her hand away!
DELNAAZ:
Maata Ji ek minute-----
SAMPAT:
Aye---Maata ji naheen hain hum tumhaari! -------Bayaalis saal ki ho gayi ho, Hum Ikaavan
(51) ke hain-------8-9 saal mein baccha naheen jane hum-------
Delnaaz
recoils away in horror!
AASHKA:
Dekhiye Auntie ji--------..
SAMPAT:
Chuppp! Painsath (65) sal ki khud lag rahi ho, Anty-Vunty kahaan se ho gaye hum
tumhaari?
URVASHI:
Suno Sampat---------
SAMPAT:
Aye Urbasee! -------Bade hain hum tumse-Ijjatat-tameej se baat karo! Agar humre baare mein jaanti naheen
ho toh Internate mein dekh lou, acchhi tarah samajh lo...Hum acchhe hain AUR MANN KE SACCHHE HAIN----Tumri tarah naa hain, haan!
Sana gets
up and tries to pacify Sampat and before any one can understand a thing, Sampat
ji swirls around like Storm Sandy and Hurricane Katrina rolled into one and lehraaate hue falls on Sana, who gets
crushed under Maata Ji who seems to have been stricken by Maata ji indeed!
SANA
(Sampat Ji ke Neeche se Chhatpataate hue): Ohhh---aaahh------bachh---bacchh----bacchhhao---bbb---bbb---bbahar
nikaalo koi! Help---Help!
SAMPAT
(Screaming & whispering alternately):
(Screams)-Naheen rahna hai humko is ghar mein
Big Baas, Nikaal deejiye humko-----
(whispers )-Tum bahut acchi ho Sana, bahut
acchi ho tum--
(Screams) Anyaay hua hai humre saath, paap ki kamaayi naheen
khaayenge hum--
(whispers)-Bahut pyaari ho tum Sana, Humein chhod kar naa
jaiyo--hum tohe naaheen chhodeinenge---
SANA:
Aaahh-----ummm----oohhh-chh-o-ddiye-Sampppat ji'
SAMPAT:
(SCREAMS) Nikaal do humein, bahut khuss honge hum---(Whispers) Kitni pyaari ho
Sana, bilkul taafee (toffee) jaisi ho Ram Kasam---(SCREAMS)-Ek aadmi ka ek bhote hota hai Big Baas, aap baimaani kiye
hain----(WHISPERS) Chupchaap padi raho Sana--haaye!
** PS: Those who watched LIVE FEED & EDITED EVENING EPISODES WOULD IMMEDIATELY AGREE ALL INCIDENTS MENTIONED ARE VERY REAL...BE IT NIKKU SMELLING UNDERWEAR-SOCKS, SAMPAT COOKING ALONE AND TV-GANG FEASTING, SAMPAT JI CRASHING DOWN AS IF UNPE MAATA AA GAYI...OR HER SANDWICH HUGZZZ!
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